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With closed eyes, I obeyed, grabbing him from the back of his head and greedily offering my tongue. The strands of his beard rustled teasingly against my chin and neck. I squeezed my thighs around his, lifting and thrusting to fit as much of his lengthiness inside as I could. When my groin flashed, my head rolled back, but I held him tightly in my arms, using his big body as my anchor while I rode him. Tobias’ head dipped and his mouth was on my nipples sucking, tugging at a direct line to my pussy. That inspired a direction I grinded into. A need built, one similar to his tongue against my clit, strangely familiar to where his fingers explored.
Before I knew it, my movements grew impending, desire spreading like a wildfire. I bucked onto Tobias as though his body was my own, as though he was an enslaved lover, owing me pleasure. The smacks of our flesh dizzied me, the sound of our rabid breathing turned me wild.
“Shit!” croaked from the back of his throat. “You are stunning when fuckin’ me, Lennox.” The cords of his neck thick with pronunciation as he seemed to endure my weight. “Cum with me.”
I paid his words no mind, was too busy enjoying myself, feeling all the feels of his swollenness massaging my insides. His hooks on my shoulders intensified and Tobias’ head flew back as he howled, the tips of his beard brushed against my face. The man felt bigger, stretching me even more. But that was impossible, I was still unable to take him all the way in.
“Fuck!” his taut body strained beneath me, his fierce grip on me, his touch nonnegotiable.
I didn’t stop, not sure if Tobias was climaxing, but deciding to be caught up with him in lechery. And,oh, God, he was deeper inside of me. A lot, and in no time, my groin was preparing to explode. It all happened so fast, but when my orgasm ripped through me, I wailed louder than Tobias. My grip on his big ass was with crushing pressure as he anchored me by the back, and my ass, to thrust deep into me.
“Tobeeeee!” shot from my lungs.
I was a fountain of lust, gushing around him as I came. This was an orgasm, I knew for sure. It hit different than the ones I’d had from my clit. Even with pain, an orgasm could rocket through, shooting me into realms of bliss I never not wanted to know again. My hips were in a fit, plunging down onto its target, spine curled backward, and eyes squeezed close. His big hand covering my cheek clutched me into the roiling sensation until the storm subsided and I was left with a galloping heart and burning lungs.
That was…a lot.
I couldn’t quite piece together what had happened. Less than two hours ago, I was at work, muscling through another tough day. How did I get to this foreign bed, stripped bare physically and emotionally? That orgasm was an opening to a new pathway. I was feeling, inside of a new dimension. As I peered up to gain view of his handsome face, tightened defensively, I could sense the swift change in energy. I was naked beyond clothes, and even more than sharing my body with him in Jersey did, I’d forfeited any immunity I had to being hurt by him. I’d opened myself to a new dimension with this man. It couldn’t be smart. If I’d learned anything from Kelvin, it’s you never give your all. Leaving a piece of yourself unavailable preserves you when your partner inevitably fucks up.
Yeah…
Indeed, it was a lot for me. It was so much, I felt a tearing inside my chest and I began to weep.
“Lenn—”
I pushed against him to disconnect. “I’m not even fresh. I should have showered first, at least.”
“No.” His one word final.
“ButI—”
I was lifted into the air, feeling him plop from me, and turned around until I landed on top of his big, fast-beating chest. Skin on skin, my face above his heart, I tried wiping my eyes. It was useless.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing here,” I whimpered, feeling disoriented.
“You feel that? My heart?” he asked, wiping my face. “That’s why you’re here. You own it. It’s been waiting on you to come see about it.”
“What we did had nothing to do with your heart.”
“It’s got every fuckin’ thing to do with it. Lennox, this shit’s getting harder and harder to do.”
“Then how do you think I feel, Tobias? I met with the attorney. I’m stuck for another year as his wife. And the clock doesn’t start until we separate.”
“Then separate.” The simplicity in his tone felt impossible for me.
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why?”
“Because of Scott. Because of Kelvin’s mother. They live in my home. And them aside: I have to get Kelvin to leave.”
“Then do that. It’s your house,” he argued calmly, warm chest rumbling.
“He has nowhere to go.”
“That ain’t true, Lennox. He’s home. The nigga got family all over.”
He was right about that. Kelvin was from Raleigh. His family wasn’t huge, but he had a circle. Yet, I was exhausted. All the fighting. All the lying to my face about being high, about getting clean, about missing money. I’d been doing it since my early twenties. I was now approaching thirty, and my stamina and interest had waned. There was no hope for improving our lives together. Kelvin made that clear years ago. It was now time for me to act on it.
