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“See, that's the part that gets tricky, right? Because outside of the situation that we've had with Tina, you have always put me first. If she calls, you go running. You swore to me that nothing was going on between the two of you and I want to believe that, but your actions… They tell me something different.” I sighed and shook my head, feeling the pain from all the times that I didn’t feel like I meant anything to him. If he cared how he said that he did, how could he make me feel like shit repeatedly? Why did I feel like a fool suddenly?
I don't think another woman should control my man the way Tina has. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was blackmailing him with how much power she wielded over him. A mother maybe, or a close relative, as long as they didn’t wear out their privilege. So where do we go from there if he couldn’t see it? I didn't care to point it out anymore. Where did that leave us?
“I get it. All I’m asking for is a chance.” He scooted over and took my hand in his. “I know that I have a lot to work on. I’m not as bad as I used to be, and I think we can work through the issues.”
“Even if I’m still dating other people?” I studied his face to see his initial reaction and if he’d own it.
“Other people? I said nothing about…” Seven scratched at the back of his head. A nervous tick that he had when he didn’t like something. “For how long, Corinne?”
“Until I decide if you’ve changed enough for me to give you all of me.”
“That’s asking for a lot.” Seven rubbed his palms against his jeans. He was uncomfortable with where this was going. “How do you expect me to relax into what we’re building if you’re busy seeing somebody else? I understand that you’re trying to make me pay for whatever happened in the past, but this… I don’t know.”
“You need to earn my trust. If you uphold your end, I’ll do the same.”
Seven remained quiet, but his eyes swept over me as if he was looking for something that would help him win his side of the argument. “Is that all?”
“No sleepovers, pop-up visits, or sex until we’ve figured this out. I don’t want to blur the lines. We need boundaries, too.”
“Then what can I do? Does he follow the same rules? Cause…” Seven sighed. His discomfort with the conversation almost made me take it all back.
I wasn’t trying to be ridiculous. I just wanted to be honest. Hopefully, he respected that. It was better than him finding out later on. With all the cards on the table, it was easier to understand where the other person was coming from.
I giggled, nervously. “We also won’t be talking about anybody else that I may or may not be dating. You have a lot on your plate. No sense in overfilling it with concerns that don’t include you. Just worry about working through things with me, and you’ll be fine.”
“I’m not competing for you.” He replied. It was the first time that he’d said something that made me pause. “If you want to date other people, cool. But if I feel you’re not trying to make it work or you’re not making time for us, I won’t bother.”
“I don’t want you to feel that way. Your greatest threat, Seven, is yourself. If you can conquer that, there’s no reason we can’t go all in.”
“You might be right. Instead of me wondering if I’m wasting my time, why don’t you figure it out with him. Then when you’re over playing games, we’ll talk.” He moved to stand up, but I stopped him.
“It’s you I want, Seven. I’m just terrified of you breaking my heart again. Show me you’re serious about fixing us. Show me I’m not going to be a fool again. Then he’s gone. I’d never lead you on. I want this, too. Even he knows where my heart is.”
“So this time you want me to be the fool?” He tapped the heel of his foot while rubbing his hands together.
“No. This time, I want us to be sure of what we’re doing.”
He nodded a firm yes, clearly still not on board with this plan. It stayed silent for a long while. I think we both needed time to process the conversation. I understood he didn’t like me seeing someone else. He knew I had reservations. Both of us were afraid of getting hurt by the other person. I don’t think that was something that we could resolve right now with all the emotion stirring.
“Well, thank you for stopping by.” I stood up and waited for him to join me. I hugged him briefly before letting him go.
“Can we go out on Saturday, around seven?” He held on to my waist while holding me in his arms, a position that was normal for us when we were together.
I cleared my throat so as not to get wrapped up in the moment and give in to breaking every rule I’d just made. “Yes. I’ll see you then.”
He kissed me briefly before walking toward the exit. “Wear something nice for me.” He added before he left, pulling the door shut.
“Whoo!” I exhaled loudly. “What in the hell have I just done?”
I didn’t need an answer. Because it was plain to see that I was in over my head with that one.
SEVEN
Six months ago…
I walked into our apartment, and it was eerily quiet. Everything was clean, in place, and there was something sweet in the air as if Corinne had burned one of her famous smell good candles. She wasn’t here, and it was after one a.m.
I texted her again and after a few minutes without a response, I took a shower and got into bed. Calling her, it went to voicemail and her mailbox was full. Worried, I was up until four a.m. waiting for her.
