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“What for, Max?”
“If Pop didn’t like something I did he’d whoop my ass. Yet, when you wore Mom’s clothes, he didn’t say shit.”
“Something like what?”
“I got bullied at school once. The kid knew I had money and said something about me being a bitch for me not giving him some of it. He made three of his friends kick my butt. When I got home, Pop made three of his men beat me for it. He told me that every time that I got my ass kicked at school, I was going to get the same treatment at home. That was the last time that happened.”
“I bet. They put you in the hospital?”
“Dislocated shoulder and bruises on my face. Then he made me tell the police that it was that kid.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.” Massimo wiped his hands on his pants, tapping his heels as he waited. “Look, Beni, we don’t have to do this.”
“No we don’t. I’ve always wondered why we stopped being close. I guess this explains some of it. After mom died, it seems like it got worse.”
“It did. He caught me going through her things once and knocked me on the floor. It was okay when you did it. Things were always different for you. Hell, for Martina, too. I know that you’ve been disciplined by him, it was never as sever as what I’d experienced though.”
“How many hospital visits were there?” Or did I want to know?
“Seven. Only the times where he could blame it on other people was I allowed to go. The other times, I had to grin and bear it.” His tapping became more insistent and I could tell that he was getting worked up. I didn’t want that for him.
“Massimo, I…” I left the words hanging in the air because I honestly didn’t know what to say.
“They got worse as I got older.” He sniffed. There weren’t any tears present, but his eyes were reddened.
“I know that time you were holed up in your room. Dad said that you needed to rest. Was that one of the times?”
“It was probably…” He sighed and stood. “It was probably that time where I couldn’t walk. I um… I need to go. I can’t do this right now.” He wiped at his eyes quickly and left the room.
I sighed wondering if I’d pushed him too hard and too fast. Maybe today wasn’t the day that I should have pressed. I wanted to understand him and what happened between us. Thinking that I should have waited, I stood up and paced the room. We were having a good time before and I didn’t want to lose what we were building.
Feeling out of control. I knew it was time for me to go. I needed to burn off energy and being cooped up in this room wasn’t making it better. I went into the hall and was stopped by Amina.
“Uncle Ami, will you read me a bedtime story, please?” How could I tell this sweet girl no?
“I sure will.” I took her hand and let her lead me to her room. She climbed in bed and I tucked her in tight. She had given me a the book that she wanted to hear. I sat down next to her and began reading about dragons and princesses.
“Will Ms. Simone be your princess?” She asked interrupting story time.
“I hope so. Will that be okay with you?”
“She won’t take my place, will she?” Her big brown eyes stared up at me hopeful that I wouldn’t allow that.
“Never. Your place in my heart can never be taken. Something that is especially for you will always be.”
“Okay.” She closed her eyes and I went back to reading.
I smoothed the hair on her head as I continued on. It was something my mother used to do to settle me down when I was younger. My brain was always busy but there was something about headrubs that made the rapid thoughts settle down. I sat watching her innocence for a second before I got back into the story for the second time.
Children…
What would my daughter and son look like?
Simone…
What would she look like pregnant?
