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“You’re right. I’ll handle it tonight.”
“Good.” We got in the car and he drove away from the river.
“Would it bother you if you found out that Martina was a lesbian?” Massimo asked.
“Actually, no. I’m pretty sure she checked Simone out when she first met her.” I joked. She had, but it was more to get a feel for her. As friendly as she was, it wouldn’t bother me if she was into women.
“And me?” His voice cracked, and it got my attention.
“What about you?” I asked.
“If I was attracted to men?”
I hadn’t thought about it, but it made sense. He’d mentioned wearing mom’s clothes and how he’d gotten in trouble for it.
“Does Father know?” I asked him.
“That wasn’t the question.”
It wasn’t. Thinking back, it made sense. I’d never seen him with any girls. However, that didn’t mean a damn thing. You only brought home the girl that you were going to marry. Still.
“I know, but I’m seeing things more clearly. He beat you because you’re gay?”
“How can you see things more clearly when he shielded you from me like I had something contagious? Being attracted to men isn’t a disease, Ami.”
“I never said that it was.” Though my father would have.
I’ve seen him do such horrible things to people. No matter what they deserved for betraying him, being around people that were “different” bothered him unnaturally. I’d seen him stuff shit into men’s asses to hurt them before he killed them. It wasn’t about the torture, more about emasculating them.
“Max, you said that he’s beat you, right? It went no further?” I turned to him to see his knuckles white from how hard he gripped the steering wheel. “Max.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Beniamino. There’s no need to. And, I’m bisexual. Not gay.”
I nodded. “Did he hurt you?” I asked more directly.
He was quiet for a long while before I heard him speak again. “I was just a kid. I didn’t understand why it was wrong. It wasn’t him. He outsourced.”
Yeah, I knew what the fuck that meant. He always outsourced everything when my father didn’t want to deal with a problem.
We talked a bit more and once I got the bad ass taste out of my mouth, I looked at Max. “I’m sorry. If I would have known before… Nobody deserves anything you’ve gone through.”
Then something dawned on me. It was the reason he’d pushed Massimo to the streets instead of keeping him at home to better understand what was happening. More committed to what I’d told him before, Massimo was going to help me turn this shit storm around. Our time together ended with him cracking jokes and loosening up. I hated it took him telling me that for us to feel closer. It shouldn’t have had to be that way.
It was after three in the morning, but I didn't want to go home just yet. Plus, I needed to unwind after talking to him about so many things. Somewhere safe that would refill the well emptying inside me.
"Can you drop me off at Simone's house?"
"Sure. You two serious?"
"No. We're trying to figure it out. I want it to be, but we’re not there yet."
"Good luck. It's hard trying to find someone who'll accept you for who you are."
I looked at him but didn't bother him for more information. We could talk more when we had more time. I couldn’t help but to wonder what he was thinking about. What made him say that? Did he lose somebody or was it something deeper? It didn’t feel good to be this disentangled with him. I was working on it, but it wasn’t moving quickly enough for me.
Arriving at her place, Denny was still in front of her house. I nodded at him before going to the door. I knocked and after a few beats, she answered. She looked like I'd interrupted her sleep.
"Hey," she pulled her robe tight and half smiled. "I didn't expect to see you tonight."
