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Oliver swallowed. “Hey. I’m still very sorry. And if it means anything to you at all, I’m willing to explain stuff. A little.”
Gabe’s brow furrowed, then he carefully stepped aside, motioning Oliver in.
He felt like leaping into the air, but it wasn’t a triumph yet. His only hope was to give Gabriel details he hadn’t shared with anyone. Even his sibling only knew because he’d been present for part of it, and knowing their mother, Leo accurately guessed all the rest.
But the words describing what Oliver had gone through had never slipped past his lips before, and he was struggling to believe this was worth it.
Only, turning to look at him, Oliver was starting to believe it might be. The curious, cautious look in Gabe’s eyes, the way he was wringing his hands, the desperation only half-hidden in his face because Gabriel wanted to know. He wanted to know if it was worth it, too.
Taking a breath, Oliver strolled to the sofa and took a seat against the far side armrest. He kept his legs spread apart, hands hanging between his knees, and he twisted the single, silver band he wore on his left middle finger.
“First of all, I wasn’t put off by the sex or your body. That might have been the best shag I’ve ever had, and I’m obsessed with you, Gabe. All of you.” Oliver glanced up at Gabriel who was hovering by the cushion farthest away from him. After a second, he lowered himself down, and Oliver went on. “I understand why it looked like that, but I swear it…I… I meant what I said when I told you I wanted all of you. I just wasn’t prepared for you to see me like that.”
“Clearly,” Gabe said.
“You just…you wouldn’t let it go and it…” He didn’t have the words, and his voice trembled.
“It triggered you,” Gabe offered very quietly.
Oliver blinked, then nodded. “I…suppose that’s it. I’ve never talked about them before. The scars. The…incident. Ever. To anyone… Not even Leo.”
Gabe’s eyes widened a fraction. “Ollie…” He let out a soft breath. “Shit. I was over here being such an indignant asshole about the whole thing, but I really, really owe you an apology.”
“It’s fine,” Oliver started, but Gabe shook his head.
“Seriously.” He looked up and met Oliver’s gaze. “I can be a real dickhead sometimes when I think I’m in the right. And I didn’t consider that I was hurting you. I’m so sorry.”
Oliver let the apology sink deep into his bones before he spoke again. “I wasn’t thinking rationally, because I never think rationally when it comes to my past. And I never let people get close enough to see the scars,” Oliver said, reaching down to tug at the bottom of his shirt. “But Leo said maybe I should tell you, because maybe you’d get it. So, back when I was younger—”
“Oliver, wait,” Gabe said, putting up a hand. “I’m not giving you an ultimatum. And I’m sure as hell not going to force you to relive something you clearly don’t want to relive. You don’t owe me anything.”
Oliver laughed, the sound a little choked, and all he wanted right now was for Gabe to hug him. But he wasn’t ready to ask for one yet. “If I did tell you though, if I thought maybe it would help me, would you be alright with hearing it all?”
Gabe, bit down on his bottom lip for a second, and let a breath out through his nose. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure about you,” Oliver said with a wry grin.
Gabe let out a startled laugh, then rubbed a hand down his face. “Charmer.” He took a slow breath, then met Oliver’s gaze again. “I’m here to listen, Ollie. I don’t really know how much help I can be, but I’m here for you.”
He leaned back against the side of the sofa and put one arm behind his head, resting down on it. He felt a warmth in his chest he wasn’t used to, and he wanted to curl up inside it.
Instead, he had to relive some of the worst moments of his life because Leo was right—it was time to share them with someone who actually cared.
“My dad left for good just after Leo was born. I don’t think he ever quite understood my mum, you know? She came from this really strict family, very wealthy, old-school titled land owners kind of thing.”
Gabe blinked at him. “Wait. Are you, like, royal?”
Oliver laughed. “No. And I didn’t inherit a title from my mum, but even if I had, it wouldn’t have meant anything.”
Gabe snorted. “Still. That’s kind of wild.”
“Yeah,” Oliver said, not quite able to match Gabe’s smile as the rest of the story pressed itself against the back of his tongue. “She was also extremely religious. She went to this church full of total fanatics. She was convinced that any untoward behavior was caused by the devil and his minions.” Oliver let out a choked laugh, shaking his head.
“I know those people,” Gabe said darkly. “Believe me.”
“I expect you do,” Oliver replied. “I told you about sucking off the footie captain and everything. Well, I didn’t really like him, but Leo was getting bolder and bolder with openly defying her. I was afraid of what she was going to do if she caught him wearing dresses and snogging boys, so I started getting more reckless, getting caught so she’d be paying attention to me and not Leo.”
Oliver licked his lips and carefully studied Gabe’s face. For the moment, the other man sat passive, eyes wide, expression open. Oliver cleared his throat and went on.
