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“Nah,” Oliver said softly. “Wouldn’t want you to process that all on your own. I…maybe I was being a bit harsh with him.”
“No, Ollie. You were not. It was unfair of him to ask you to go back to that,” Leo said firmly. “If you’d said yes, I would have stopped you.”
Oliver laughed. “I’m sure you would have.” He finally dropped his hands and looked at his sibling. “You don’t want to go see her, do you?”
Leo’s face was drawn and tense. “I don’t…I don’t know. Everything in me says no. Says she doesn’t deserve it. But then I’m afraid I’ll regret it if she dies without me going to see her one last time.”
Oliver licked his lips in thought. “You know what we need right now?”
Leo looked at him, one perfectly sculpted brow lifted. “What?”
“A fucking drink.”
Leo laughed, then rose from his chair and held his hand out to his sibling. “That is the best thing you’ve said to me in a long while.”
Eleven
One drink turned into a two-day binge. It had been years since Oliver let himself go like that, and with good reason. He was not a nice drunk, or a particularly careful one. He forgot about checking in with Gabe, forgot about classes, research, or homework. He barely made it home in the wee hours of the early mornings, woke late, and the next night dragged an eager Leo out to club after club.
It wasn’t until one in the morning the third day that Oliver bothered to remember he had a boyfriend who was probably worried about him. And it was only because he walked in on his sibling getting a blowjob in the bathroom by someone who had curly hair like Gabe.
He turned away from the bathroom, fumbling for his phone, but it had died hours before. The club no longer held any interest for him. What he wanted was the warm, comforting arms of his boyfriend, soft lips, and seeking hands all over his body. He was done with trying to drink away his pain. He wanted to be with the person he loved.
With a mission on his mind, he stumbled out of the bar and somehow managed to find his way across town to Gabe’s building. The front doors were unlocked, and he stumbled up the stairs, stopping to nearly be sick all over the floor a few times, but eventually he made it to the landing.
Reaching the door, he leaned on the door frame and pounded on the wood over and over until the door flung open, and a bleary-eyed Gabriel appeared.
“Oliver? What the fuck? Do you have any idea what time it is?”
Oliver gave him a wolfish smile. “Shag o’clock?” He snickered at his own pun. “Shag my cock, more like.” He started to take a step inside, but Gabe put a hand out, pushing him back, and Oliver gaped at him. “What the bloody hell, Gabe? I haven’t seen you in ages. Haven’t you missed me?”
“You’re completely wasted,” Gabe said, his voice hoarse with sleep, “and you haven’t called or texted me in days.”
“But m’here now,” Oliver whined. He pushed against Gabe’s hand, but his boyfriend was unmoving.
“Look, go home and sleep it off. Call me in the morning if you bother to remember, and you can explain why you ghosted on me for three fucking days. I’m not doing this with you right now.”
“Bloody hell, have you always been such a nag?” Oliver grumbled. “Honestly I can think of a hundred better things you can do with your mouth than complain.” When Gabe stared at him, no expression, he snickered. “Suck my cock, for one.”
Gabe gave him a hard shove and he stumbled backward, toppling over and landing on his backside. “If you go home right now, I might find it in me to pretend this conversation never happened.” With that, without a second of ceremony, Gabriel slammed the door and Oliver heard the lock snick into place. Then the chain on the door.
From where he sat, Oliver stared disbelieving at the door, his head shaking. “I can’t believe…” He stopped when his head swam and his stomach lurched, and it was by some miracle he didn’t heave up the viciously bitter liquor he’d been consuming all night.
There was nothing to be done now. He knocked a few more times, but when Gabe didn’t come back, he muttered a few curses under his breath and stumbled back home. The door was unlocked, and Coco was nowhere to be found, so Oliver heaved himself upstairs and into his own bed.
It had stopped smelling like Gabriel, and now just contained the faint, ugly scent of alcohol-sweat and old cigarettes. His head was pounding, and he knew the morning was going to be painful, but at least while his head was occupied with the drink, he wasn’t thinking of his mother.
Or if he was, at least he wasn’t missing the mother she should have been.
* * *
Come morning,Oliver woke earlier than he had the last two days, full of hangover and regret. He hadn’t been drunk enough to black out, which left him foggy memories of showing up at Gabriel’s. The post-binge guilt was seeping into his bones as he dragged himself from the bed and into the shower. By the time he was clean and dressed, he was wallowing in self-hatred.
He had not only contributed to Leo’s falling off the wagon in a spectacularly violent fashion, but he’d also alienated the one person who really wanted to be there for him. He couldn’t even begin to wonder if he’d done irreparable damage to his relationship with Gabriel.
The last thing he needed now was to lose the person he loved.
With a sigh, Oliver passed by Leo’s room, dismayed to see his sibling hadn’t made it home that night. He could only hope the man Leo had been with in the bathroom had been kind enough to take care of him, but he didn’t have it in him to worry much. Right now, he had some major groveling to do.
