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Gabe swallowed, then nodded. “I see.”
Oliver rubbed at his scars through his shirt, still not looking up. “I was so angry. I couldn’t believe he had the bollocks to ask me to go there. To take care ofher. To set aside what she’s done to me like somehow she deserves…” He felt his voice rising and he stopped, trying to contain his emotions. “Like somehow she deserves more care than I ever did,” he finished in a quieter tone. “My father wasn’t pleased. Leo was relieved, of course. I think he was afraid I’d say yes and make him go back. I didn’t know what to do.”
“So, you attempted to drink yourself into oblivion?” Gabe asked, his voice just a little tense now. “You didn’t think to call me?”
“No! I hadn’t…” Oliver growled in frustration. “It wasn’t my intention to get fucking pissed, you know. I just thought a drink to unwind would help, and then everything sort of…went out of control.”
Gabe sighed. “Ollie, I’m sorry about your mom.”
This caused Oliver to look over sharply, almost surprised, and he saw the honest remorse on his boyfriend’s face. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You know she deserves this.”
“I don’t know that. But I do knowyoudon’t,” Gabe said very quietly. “You don’t deserve to feel obligated to care for a woman who had you tortured. One who never really loved you—or if she did, it was a toxic love. But you need to learn to deal with shit better. You can’t talk to me that way and then expect me to just forgive you.”
Oliver clutched his paper cup hard. “I know. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I am sorry, and I do love you very much.”
After a moment, Gabe moved closer, and Oliver tried not to let his eyes get hot or his throat tingle with tears that wanted to fall. A warm hand fell on Oliver’s thigh and squeezed. “I know you love me. And I love you. I want to be here for you, but you can’t…”
“No, I know,” Oliver interrupted in a rush, and finally turned to Gabe. “I won’t again. I swear.”
Gabe lifted his hand from Oliver’s thigh and cupped it around the side of his neck. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
Oliver let out a slightly wet laugh and set the tea down, shifting over so Gabe could put his arms around Oliver’s middle. He nuzzled against Gabe’s neck, breathing in his scent, and felt more comforted than he ever had in his life. “You can hold me to anything you want—and I don’t mean that dirty. Well…not really.”
Gabe laughed very softly. “Mm, right.”
“I mean that I want to be held to a higher standard. I don’t like behaving the way I did. It’s not who I am. I just couldn’t stand feeling the way I was feeling, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
Gabe’s fingers moved up and down Oliver’s spine, just the barest pressure. “I know, babe. And no one expects you to grin and bear it. Your mother was a fucking demon, Ollie, but she’s still your mother, and you’re going to be conflicted. It’s okay to hurt.”
Oliver swallowed back the tears and pushed his face harder into Gabe’s neck. “Can we go back to yours, please? I…I need…” He stopped and cleared his throat, hoping Gabe understood what he wanted to say. “Something. I don’t know. A hug, maybe?”
Gabe’s free hand reached down and took one of Oliver’s, squeezing his fingers. “Yeah. Of course we can.”
Oliver allowed himself to be pulled up, and their fingers twinned together as they made their way down the street to Gabe’s apartment. Once inside, Oliver was surrounded by the sights and smells of everything familiar he had been craving since he learned about his mother. The door shut swiftly, the sound echoing through the quiet room, and then hands were on him.
Gabe shoved him up against the door, his nose pressing into Oliver’s cheek with purpose, his mouth curved into a smile as he pressed a soft kiss to Oliver’s skin. “Missed you,” he breathed.
It sent shivers up his spine, and Oliver quickly fisted his hands into the front of Gabe’s shirt, tugging him close. “I missed you too. And I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are,” Gabe said, speaking right up against his lips. He brought one hand up, tugging at Oliver’s hair, and carded his fingers through it as it fell in soft waves around his ears. “And I forgive you. So, moving on, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Oliver mumbled, then palmed both of Gabriel’s cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. His tongue slipped inside Oliver’s mouth gently, needy but careful, and trying to speak how much he loved Gabriel without using his words.
Before long, Gabriel was tugging him back down the hall, into the bedroom. The bed was unmade, the window open letting in a faint breeze which promised an early summer heat. Oliver fell back, laughing a little as Gabe knelt between his thighs, going immediately for the fastening on his jeans.
Undone, Oliver lifted his hips so Gabe could remove the offending bit of clothing, letting it pile onto the floor. It was soon followed by Oliver’s shirt, then Gabe’s jogging bottoms, binder, and t-shirt. Skin to skin now, chest to chest, they kissed slow and languid.
Oliver felt himself harden against Gabe’s thigh which was pressed between his legs, and he shifted, grinding hard. “God. I want you so bad.”
“Me too,” Gabe breathed. He kissed Oliver again, fumbling for his nightstand where they were well stocked.
It wasn’t long before Oliver was kneeling between Gabe’s legs, his hand teasing Gabe’s dick gently. Gabe bucked beneath Oliver’s careful, pressing fingers, getting close to the edge as Oliver stroked him. “Would you,” Oliver said, a little breathless. He swallowed thickly. “Would you top?”
Gabe’s eyes went a little wide, but he nodded, biting his bottom lip between his teeth for a second. “Yes. You really want that?”
Oliver met his gaze with a fierce determination. “I do. I want you inside me.”
Oliver and Gabe had talked about it before—had both mentioned it was something they wanted to try. Gabe had a strap-on, and he’d fingered Oliver to orgasm more than once, but they’d never quite got there. It seemed like a fitting way of coming back together.
