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It was like his body moved before he could even think about it. His cigarette was on the ground, his hands were twisted into Gabriel’s shirt, and his former lover’s back was pressed against cold brick. He had his face so close he could smell the smoke on Gabe’s breath, feel the heat from his skin, and his eyes closed.
“If I start kissing you now,” Oliver whispered, “I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to let you go.”
Gabe let out a slow chuckle, reaching one hand up to cup around the back of Oliver’s neck. “I think I’d be okay with that.”
“Yeah?”
Gabe laughed again. “It’s better than torturing myself with memories and telling myself I can never have this again. I want you. I’m probably the biggest fool on the planet, and God help me, but I want you.”
Shoving a knee between Gabe’s legs, he hitched him close. “If I do this, that’s it. It’s over for the both of us and you’re fucking mine. Please understand that. I’m going to hold you, and fuck you, and kiss you every goddamn day. I’m going to marry the hell out of you and build us a house and that’s it. You hear me? This is your one chance to get out.”
Gabe dropped his cigarette and palmed Oliver’s cheek. “No, Ollie, because that’s the thing. I never had a chance. I was always yours.”
Feeling a rush thorough him like a volcanic eruption, Oliver couldn’t stop himself. His lips crashed forward, hard, needy, bringing him back where he knew he belonged. Bringing him back to his love. Their mouths and tongues moved together like they’d never been apart, with a ferocity that spoke volumes. Gabriel let out a small moan, and Oliver felt dizzy with need as they pressed their bodies together in a hard line.
When he pulled back, they were both a little breathless, and Gabe was holding on to the front of his shirt. “Go inside and get your card. I’ll get a cab. We’re going back to my apartment.”
Gulping, Oliver nodded and used every ounce of his self-control to pull away from his lost love. “Okay. I…yes. Okay.” He fought back the fear that this was Gabriel playing some game with him, as some sort of final retribution for leaving the way he had. He tried not to think of how he would feel stepping back to the street only to find Gabriel gone.
He slipped into the restaurant and found their table. His card and receipt were sitting on a small, silver tray, and he snatched it up. With trembling hands, he scribbled a massive tip, his name, then hurried back out.
For a terrifying second, he didn’t see Gabriel anywhere. Then, as his eyes scanned the car park, he found Gabriel waiting near an open cab door. He saw the smile waiting for him, the smile which said this wasn’t over, that this was just the beginning, and his heart thumped hard against his ribs.
Rushing to the door, Oliver let Gabriel take his hand as they slipped inside the car, and he didn’t say anything as the love of his life gave directions to his apartment. The ride felt longer than it was, a ten-minute eternity of the pair of them holding hands, thigh pressing against thigh.
Then the cab came to a halt and Oliver felt his insides start to quake again. He could hardly believe it was real. The last three years had been spent missing Gabriel so much his insides felt flayed raw, and he had been convinced this would never happen. That Gabriel had been lost to him for good.
He laughed as they climbed the stairs—different building, different life, but so familiar. Gabriel all-but tugged him, the pair of them giggling a little, giddy with anticipation. Oliver felt almost overheated as he waited, foot tapping on the floor while Gabriel got his keys out and fumbled with the lock.
“Hurry up,” Oliver muttered.
Gabe gave him a disbelieving stare, a small snort as he finally got the lock to turn. “Don’t rush me. I’m nervous.”
Rolling his eyes, Oliver pressed his hand to the small of Gabriel’s back. “I am too. I never thought there would be a day I would be nervous to be alone with you.”
Turning with the door half open, Gabriel palmed Oliver’s cheek. “I know. It’s…weird.” He backed up through the door, dragging Oliver with him, and it slammed shut like a benediction. Almost physically startled, Oliver flinched as Gabe pushed him back against the wood and brought his face in close.
“This isn’t it, right? I’m not going to wake up to an empty bed ever again?”
“No,” Oliver muttered against warm lips.
“Promise me,” Gabe begged. His hands went up, almost desperate as they clung to Oliver’s shoulders.
Reaching up, Oliver ran his fingers into the curls he had missed so much it was like a physical wound, and his eyes closed against his will. “I promise. God, I swear it. There’s never been anyone but you, Gabriel.”
His words were silenced again with a kiss, with Gabriel’s body pressed against his. He surged, moaning, wanting and needy as he clawed at the man in front of him. Gabriel responded in kind, not breaking contact as he pulled Oliver forward through the apartment, and into a dark bedroom.
It smelled so much like Gabriel, Oliver had to take a moment. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes as the memories rushed back. Their first kiss, the first time they had sex, the first time Oliver knew he was irrevocably in love with this man.
The bed was untidy, but as usual, Gabe was unashamed of it. Instead of trying to tidy up, he busied himself with buttons and the zippers on trousers. Before long they were in nothing but shirts and boxers, looking at each other like familiar strangers.
Oliver reached his hand out, one finger tracing along the bottom of Gabriel’s shirt. “May I?”
Nodding, Gabriel stepped forward and Oliver went through the old, familiar motions of undressing him. It was like muscle memory, his hands not needing his brain to remember where to touch, to elicit those needy groans and the surge of hips. His fingers traced gently over faded half-moon scars on Gabriel’s now-flat chest—a body so different yet so familiar, it made him ache.
They fell to the mattress, crawling up toward the pillows with Oliver on his back, Gabe between his legs. “If we do this, I’m not letting you go again,” Gabriel whispered, echoing Oliver’s words from earlier.
“And I’m going to hold you to that,” Oliver said, his hands gripping Gabriel by the hips. “I was so fucking stupid. Such an absolute fool. Please, please forgive me.”
