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“It’s…” Shiloh dragged a hand down his face. “I’ll explain later.”
Dom gave him a little mock salute, knowing he wouldn’t be getting anything out of his friend before he was finished with his work. And anyway, he really was hungry for something warm and home cooked after his long day, and the smells from the kitchen were making his stomach growl.
He rounded the corner, finding Benjamin at the stove, and he stomped his foot down twice, as hard as he could. The older man turned, grinning wide when he saw Dom standing there, and he jerked his head at him to come all the way in.
He looked old now, Dom noticed. Not scary old. Not like he needed to startworryingold. But his hair was as grey as Dom’s would’ve been without the dye, only a bit on the whiter side. And there were wrinkles that stuck on his face instead of smoothing out when he stopped grinning. His knuckles had gotten fat and a little bent, and he walked slower these days.
It made his chest ache—a sort of vicious reminder of mortality and how everything came to an end. And it reminded him that they were thirty-six now, and he’d wasted so much time not telling Shiloh how he felt.
Or not moving on so he could find a way to be more happy and less lonely.
‘Tired?’ Benjamin asked.
Dom shook his head. ‘Long day.’ He settled into his usual seat—the one he’d used since he was small, though he took up far more room now in the little nook of the kitchen. But Benjamin had never treated him like he’d outgrown his skinny little twelve-year-old body, and he liked that. ‘You?’
‘My guitar is out of tune. I can feel it.’ He stopped signing while he set the bowl of chicken and dumplings in front of Dom. ‘And it was making the cat cry.’
They had one cat—a little mouser who lived out in the barn mostly but liked to sun herself in the lounge every afternoon. She was ugly and ragged and orange, and for some reason Dom would never understand, Benjamin loved her more than life itself.
‘I’ll take care of it,’ he signed with a laugh, then picked up his spoon and shoveled a too-hot bite into his mouth. It stung, but he didn’t care, the warmth settling into his bones. He grinned at the older man. ‘I needed this.’
‘I know,’ Benjamin told him with a slightly smug grin. ‘I always know when my boys need something. I get a small itch in my left big toe.’
Dom laughed again, rolling his eyes as he polished off the food. By the time he was scraping the bottom of the bowl and savoring his final dumpling, Shiloh had returned, looking a little wind-swept and pink in the cheeks from the cold night. He brushed off Benjamin who tried to force a bowl into his hands, scoffing as he kicked a chair out from the table and sat.
‘I ate,’ he complained, his fingers a little stiff.
‘You’re skinny,’ Benjamin fired back.
Dom waved his hand to get the older man’s attention. ‘Go get your guitar.’
Now distracted, Benjamin left the room, and Shiloh let out a small sigh as he leaned back. “He’s been insufferable lately. He’s got it in his head that he’s going to die in the middle of the night while I’mlonelyandunmarried. He thinks I need to find someone.”
Something in Dom’s gut twisted, ugly and pained. “Oh? I…well. He means well, doesn’t he?”
Shiloh gave him a flat look. “IfI ever get married, it’s not going to be because my father ordered me some, like, American mail-order groom.”
Dom choked on his last bite, thumping his fist on his chest. “Fuck’s sake. He’s not going that far, is he?”
“No,” Shiloh admitted, “but it’s not out of the realm of possibility. He tried to sneak a dating app onto my phone last night. Grindr.”
“Oh my God,” Dom groaned. “He’s not supposed to know about Grindr!”
Shiloh gave him a flat look. “Yeah, except you taught him how to use the internet. You showed him Tumblr.”
“Fuck,” Dom whispered.
“Exactly. I was forced to tell him how shite it’s been for you, but he just gave me a look and said it was obvious why it’s not working for you. Like I…” He stopped abruptly when Benjamin entered the room, casting them both suspicious looks, and Shiloh narrowed his eyes at him. ‘I was telling Dom about your antics last night with Grindr.’
Benjamin waved his hand dismissively as he set the guitar over Dom’s lap. ‘I want you settled before I die.’
Shiloh gave Dom a pointed stare. ‘See?’
Benjamin made a low humming scoff. ‘I worry.’
Dom reached over and gave the man’s arm a reassuring pat. ‘He can take care of himself. And you know I’ll bake for him. He’ll never starve.’
At that, Benjamin got a look in his eye—one Dom knew well: longing. He hadn’t exactly made it a secret he’d hoped the two of them would fall in love, but Dom had always put a quick stop to that line of thinking.
