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Picking up the guitar, Dom quickly got to work, and Benjamin went back to tidying the kitchen. Shiloh joined him at the sink, and as Dom strummed through some chords, he watched the pair of them work on the dishes. Their hands moved in a sort of rhythm that only came from a lifetime together. He couldn’t make out what they were signing, but it didn’t matter.
It was a combination of Shiloh complaining, and Benjamin worrying that his son was taking on too much work, and Shiloh trying to reassure him he was fine exactly as he was. Dom was loved by his parents, but Shiloh was Benjamin’s entire world, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to understand what that felt like.
He knew it burdened Shiloh at times, but he also knew his best friend wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Pushing to his feet, Dom walked over and laid a hand on Benjamin’s shoulder to grab his attention. ‘Finished. You go play and we can finish up.’
Benjamin gave him a long look, then took the guitar back and made space for Dom’s larger body. He didn’t say anything before he left, but Dom felt the weight of his stare for long moments before he retreated to the lounge, soft music filling the air.
“How is he really?” Dom said. “I don’t always notice it, but he looks…”
“Old,” Shiloh breathed out. “I mean, he’s fine, of course. His last physical, he was at the peak of health for a man of his age, especially one that spent most of his life doing hard labor on the farm. I think he’s just…I dunno. Tired? I mean, he had all these expectations for me when I was little. Before Mum left, and before Gran died. Now I think he blames himself for it. Like I’m some delicate Victorian debutante who’s got the wasting sickness or whatever rubbish is in those romance novels he keeps reading.”
Dom wasn’t entirely sure Benjamin was wrong. Not completely.
Shiloh was small, and he was delicate, and he felt things deeply, which left him afraid of pain. It was obvious why he avoided love and dating. He and Dom had both nursed Sarah through heartaches over the years, and he’d more than once gotten a bit pissed and confessed that he didn’t think he was strong enough to withstand all the emotions she put herself through.
Dom supposed Benjamin assumed he’d have a son a bit more like him—sort of tall and rugged and willing to take risks. Shiloh had come out the complete opposite, and Benjamin hadn’t loved him any less for it, but he did worry more.
“So,” Shiloh said, swiping his hands on a towel before passing it over. They put the last of the dried bowls away, then he went to the cupboard and pulled out a couple of his dad’s German ales he loved so much. “About that thing I wanted to talk to you about…”
“Right,” Dom said from behind a sigh, “your secret. Or…whatever.”
“It’s not a secret. It’s about the costume. I think I’ve sorted out what I want.” For whatever reason, Shiloh actually looked embarrassed, and Dom stepped a little closer to him.
“You know we don’t have to do this, right?”
Shiloh pursed his lips, then cracked the top and took a long drink before he spoke again. “There’s no way in hell she’s going to let us out of it. Last year was a fluke.”
Dom groaned because Shiloh was right. “She’d hunt us down and murder us where we slept if we try to get out of it.” He didn’t bring up the date thing again, and he was grateful Shiloh seemed to be avoiding that topic because Dom wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. Hell, he hadn’t even officially confirmed it himself since Sarah’s text.
Shiloh shuddered a little, then stared down at his feet. It was one of his many tells, this one all nerves and anxiety. “I…” He let out a small laugh. “So remember two years ago when Liza wanted to throw that Valentine’s themed fancy dress? Except they wanted all the blokes to come in gowns? Then Sarah lost the plot and made a public display of Liza?”
Of course Dom remembered. Sarah had tracked Liza down in the middle of Primark and shouted to God and the rest of the world about how the idea was offensive and imagine how many people would be left out if she stuck to her idea of gender binary and making a mockery of masculine people who enjoyed feminine clothing.
Dom had loved her just a little bit harder after that, and Sarah hadn’t regretted losing the friendship with Liza.
“What about it?” Dom pressed when Shiloh didn’t go on.
His friend cleared his throat, then took another long drink. “So before I realized it was a shit idea, I, erm…” He laughed and shook his head. “Christ, I’m not sure how to say it.”
Dom blinked, then realized what he wasn’t saying. “Easy. Just put words together until I understand what you’re trying to tell me.”
Shiloh’s face went bright red, and he glanced off to his left, biting the corner of his lower lip. “Bloody hell. Okay. I found a costume that day when we were browsing. It was a little shit thing, you know? In the one-pound holiday bin. It was all tangled up with old Christmas crackers and New Year’s hats.”
Dom’s throat went tight and hot, and he was feeling…something unnamable and terrifying. “Alright,” he said slowly.
“So I…I snuck away and tried it on.” Shiloh met his gaze after an impossible moment. “I didn’t buy it, but I stood there in front of the mirror and stared at myself for so long I started to look like I wasn’t human anymore.” He licked his lips. “Do you think I’m a freak?”
Dom had to take a second before he answered. “Why would I think you’re a freak for a costume? I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”
“Because I…because it…” Shiloh almost looked like he wanted to cry, and Dom couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and taking his hand. He pressed his thumb to the inside of Shiloh’s wrist, then stroked it over his strong, fine bones.
“You what?” Dom reached for his chin, tipping his head up. Shiloh’s eyes were moving back and forth so fast Dom wasn’t sure Shiloh could actually see him. “What happened, love?”
Shiloh took a deep, trembling breath. “It was a Bo-Peep costume.” Shiloh confessed in an almost whisper. “It was a short, frilly dress with lace. And I liked it, Dom. I stared at myself for so long because I liked it.”
Dom was helpless against the sudden image of Shiloh in a little dress, and it was by some miracle his cock didn’t burst through his jeans.
