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“Over?” She joins me on the leather sofa.
“You ask a lot of questions.” I sigh.
“That’s my job.”
“Well, you’re off the clock now,” I say, too tired to explain in great detail what just happened between Eliza and I. Also, because I’m still processing it myself. Was it a misunderstanding? Or did she use it as an excuse to pull away from me when we were getting close again? “I guess communication isn’t our forte. Isn’t mine, but turns out, she wasn’t ready for it either.”
Jessie reaches for my hand, then pats it. “Beck, don’t let her go this time. Don’t let anything big or small get in the way.”
“Trust me, that’s not my intent. She just needed some space and I gave it to her.”
“Just don’t give her… too much space.”
I swallow. I know what she means. I did my wife wrong before, and now it’s my time to atone and make things right. “I won’t.”
A small smile curls her lips, the same one she used as a kid whenever I won a game or got a good grade at school. Damn Jessie. Warmth flutters through me. “Good.”
I nod, and stretch to my full height. Time to talk things through with Eliza—and this time, for good.
12
Eliza
I tossmy clothes in the suitcase, then turn around and dash to the bathroom. Quickly, I grab my toiletries and shove them into the makeup case. We’re supposed to leave tomorrow after breakfast, but I don’t know if I can stay one more night here.
I’ve looked at flights, and there’s nothing now, but I can always go to a hotel near the airport for the night. I take the makeup case and walk back to the suitcase, and set it inside. Damn. I don’t want to hurt Mimi’s feelings and leave without saying goodbye. She and Jessie deserve better than me escaping in the middle of the night.
But the idea of sharing the same bedroom with Beck one more night sends a chilling thrill down my spine. Sleeping under the same roof as he, even if I take the love seat, means spending more time with him in close quarters. I don’t want to, because if I do, I’ll get distracted by his hot body and handsome looks, and forget about all our problems.
Or am I worried that I’ve been clinging to the problems we had in the past, and it’s hard to let go?
I sigh.
I close the suitcase and zip it. Even if I don’t leave tonight, at least my things are packed. The message is clear. Right?
A sense of hopelessness lurches my stomach. Am I being unreasonable… or just plain scared?
A knock on the door startles me, and I nearly jump. Before I answer, he comes in, and I realize the knock was just a symbol to announce his entry, not to ask for permission.
“Eliza,” he says my name in a way that demands attention.
I circle back to face him, my fingers threading into one another, fidgeting. I’m all nervous energy and tension. “Yeah?” I manage to say with a measure of calmness, and am glad that at least my voice sounds more confident than I do.
His green eyes are darker, yet there’s a speck of silver hovering in their depths. A lump travels down his throat, his Adam’s apple moving.
I shift my weight from one foot to the other, finding it impossible to be comfortable.
“I’ve been thinking about our chat,” he says.
So have I, but I’m not willing to admit it until he says whatever he needs to say. Hell, what if he decided I’m too much work after all and now I’ve done my wifely duty I can go back sooner than anticipated?
I look at him, square in the eye, challenging him to finish.
“I know I told you this was the last time you’d come to spend time with my family. But I don’t want it to be.”
“Beck, I can’t keep pretending we’re this happy couple to your family,” I say, sadness sifting through my voice. I love his family, love Mimi, but I can’t keep on acting like everything is okay.
“Neither can I. Which is why I want us to be a real couple. I love you, Eliza,” he says, and he walks up to me, his voice softer and edgy, like he has to say it before it breaks. “Always have. I made a lot of mistakes, and one of them was not talking when we lost the baby.”
