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She hums, leaning back into me. “And I love when you hold me. It makes me feel like you love me.”
“There will never be a day that Idon’tlove you.” I move my left hand and rest it on top of hers, showing our tattoos of each other’s initials together. “You’re my forever.”
And as her head turns and our lips meet, the only thing I’m absolutely certain of is the truth in those words.
I USED TO TAKEsimple times like these for granted. The nights we spent curled up together in bed like this while we watched whatever movie Laiken was wanting to see—I never appreciated them enough. I’d space out, thinking about things I had to do at the bar or get done around the house. It’s so easy to get lost in life, but you don’t realize how vital these little moments are until a bomb explodes in the middle of everything you care about.
Now, as some movie based on a romance novel plays in the background, the only thing I’m lost in is her. The feeling of her body next to mine. The softness of her skin against my fingertips. They’re things that I’m going to need to hold onto over the next few weeks, while she’s rebuilding herself back to the badass spitfire that I’ve always loved.
She lifts her head from my chest and smiles at me, but her concern grows as she sees the single tear that escapes from one of my eyes. Gently wiping it away with her thumb, she comes closer and ghosts her lips against mine.
“I love you so much,” she whispers.
God, if I could make the sound of her saying that my ringtone, I would. “I loveyou. I’m forever in love with you.”
I feel her start to deepen the kiss, pressing her mouth on mine with more pressure. And I kiss her back with just as much fervor because she breathes the life into me. But when her hand starts to slide down my stomach, I grab her wrist.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing I want more than to get wrapped up in her. Sex with us has always been different. More intense. More meaningful. It’s not ideal, but it’s the way we communicate all the feelings we can’t manage to say. The emotions we pour into it are genuine and real. But right now, she’s so mentally fragile that I’m terrified of being the catalyst that finally pushes her over the edge.
“Lai,” I breathe.
She sighs, resting her forehead on mine. “Please.”
The sound of her voice, so desperate and eager, it has my restraints ready to snap. We haven’t had sex since the morning of my birthday, and that would be an adjustment in itself if I wasn’t so worried about her. But it’s no secret that I’ve never been able to keep myself from giving into everything she wants, and I don’t think that’ll ever change.
“Please,” she repeats. “I need you, just for tonight.”
She doesn’t. Not in the way that she thinks she does. But I’m not about to tell her no right now. And to be honest, I need this just as badly as she claims to.
Rolling her onto her back, I cover her mouth with my own and she sighs contently. My fingertips graze across her skin as I drag my hand up her thigh, until the only thing separating the two of us is the thin pair of panties she has on.
“I’ve got you,” I promise.
I brush against her clit, reveling in the way she moans into my mouth and arches into my hand. I’ve missed having her like this—being able to control her entire body with a simple touch. I don’t think she even realizes how much that turns me on.
She reaches down, frantically pushing the panties down her legs and kicking them off to rid herself of the barrier between us. I smirk against her mouth and bend my fingers just right as I slip them inside of her.
She’s so fucking wet.
It’s like she’s been thinking about this for hours and finally got the courage to ask for it. To beg for what she wants.
“Fuck,” she exhales. “Right there.”
She doesn’t need to tell me. I know her body better than my own. Every spot that makes her squirm. The spots that make her weak. How far I can tease her before it’s just downright cruel. There isn’t a thing about her body that I don’t have committed to memory. Tucked away in its own little section of my mind.
“You’re a goddess, Laiken Rose,” I tell her honestly. “An absolute goddess.”
Her eyes stare into mine, pupils blown from all of the arousal she’s feeling. “Yourgoddess. Always going to be yours.”
It’s like she knows how badly I need to hear those words. The reassurance that regardless of what we’re going through, she’s still just as much mine as she’s ever been. It feels like I might not drown after all.
“Love me,” she pleads. “I need you to make love to me.”
I drop a kiss onto her lips and pull my fingers out of her to get my boxers off, because who am I to not give her every damn thing she asks for right now?
Our sex life has always been colorful, with certain kinks and dirty talk, and there’s never been a time where we’re not completely worn out and sated by the end of it. But this isn’t that.
This is two people in love, desperately clinging to each other and needing to be as close as possible while we hope we make it out in one piece.
