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I SIT IN MYtruck, staring at the house Laiken fell in love with at first sight. She looked so damn happy as we stepped onto the porch, and I could’ve listened to her for hours as she talked about all the things I could do with it. Little does she know, the whole time, I was picturing our future inside those walls.
A couple kids.
A dog.
Family dinners in the dining room, and birthday parties in the backyard.
I saw it all happening with her. It wasright there. I had it in my hands. And now it’s so out of reach that I don’t know if those dreams will ever come true for us. But what I do know is I have no interest in having any of that if it’s not with her.
It takes ten minutes just to work up the courage to go inside. After talking with Cam for hours and going over all our choices, we found a place with a spot for her. It’s forty minutes north of here, but they have a good reputation, and from the pictures, it looks nice. Neither Cam nor I were ever going to put her in some shithole.
Though, something tells me it could be paradise and she’ll still be pissed about it.
The whole thing makes my chest hurt. I don’t want her to think I’m giving up on her or tossing her off on someone else. I hate this just as much as she’s going to, if not more, but I know that she needs it. She’s fighting demons right now, and we’ve all tried to help her, but we’re just not enough. She needs professionals. People trained to deal with this level of trauma.
With my hand on the doorknob, I prepare myself for what’s to come, but when I open the door and step inside, it’s like I stepped into a time capsule and brought back to a month ago—before everything became such shit. The house is clean, music plays through the speaker, and the smell that wafts from the kitchen feels like home.
My brows furrow as I look around and find Laiken in the kitchen. She’s cooking dinner and swaying to the beat. And when she turns around, her eyes meet mine, and she smiles in a way she hasn’t in weeks.
“Hey,” she says softly.
Putting down the spatula, she comes over to me and arches up on her tiptoes. Her lips meet mine, and she drapes her arms over my shoulders. It takes me a second to realize that this is happening—that it’s not some sick dream meant to torture me—and when I do, I pull her closer.
“God, I missed that,” she tells me.
I exhale as my grin widens. “Me, too.”
“I’m making dinner. It should be done soon, and then I was thinking we could watch a movie together?”
Ugh, that’s all I want. To hold her in my arms and breathe in the scent of her hair. But Cam is supposed to be coming here in an hour, after I have her packed and ready to leave.
“It smells delicious,” I say, kissing her forehead. “I was hoping we could talk though.”
She pulls her head back to look up at me. “I know, we need to, but do you think we could just enjoy tonight? Things have been rough lately, and I really want to have tonight with you; being together like it was before everything went to such shit.”
There’s not a damn thing in this world that could get me to deny her right now. Not when I need this just as much as she does. Staring into her eyes, it feels like I’m finally looking at the Laiken I fell in love with, and I’m going to enjoy it while I can.
“Of course, baby,” I reply. “Anything for you.”
She smiles brightly, kissing me once more before going back to dinner. Meanwhile, I take out my phone to text Cam.
I don’t know what’s going on, but I just came home to find Laiken cooking dinner and in a good mood. It’s like all that shit never even happened.
I look over at her and admire the way her hips sway to the music as she stirs whatever is in the pot, until my phone dings.
I don’t know, H. I still think we should take her to be evaluated.
I know, but can we take her tomorrow? I really just want to spend tonight enjoying her while she’s like this.
Okay. Keep me updated on how she is and I’ll see you around nine.
Thanks, Cam. I appreciate it.
Seeing him and Mali worry about Laiken as much as I have has been difficult. It’s like we all would do anything to get her back to how she was before tragedy fucked our lives to hell, but we can’t. The only thing we can do is sit around and be there in the moments when she needs us.
But as if the universe knew how much I needed this, I get her back for a night. It feels a lot like Noah and Allie in their final moments.
I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. “I love when you cook.”
