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Shit.“Okay.”
I lean down and grab the pillow, putting it back on the bed as I ignore the voice in my mind screaming that this is a bad idea.
It’s bad enough she’s dressed in a pair of shorts and one ofmyT-shirts. Granted, that’s my fault. I knew it would make her more comfortable after her shower, so I took the one she had lying out and switched it with mine. But I didn’t hear a single complaint out of her about it.
I strip down to just my boxers and wait for her to climb into bed before I turn off the light. Once she’s good, I flick the switch and walk over to slip in beside her. I never liked how big this bed is, but it didn’t matter when we both slept in the middle anyway. Right now, though, I’m wishing it was a twin.
She’s too far away. Sure, I could reach out and touch her, but it’s not enough. I need her body pressed against mine and my arms wrapped around her. But there’s a level of anxiety that keeps me from initiating that—and I’m already on edge enough right now.
The two of us lie there, and surprisingly, the sound of her breathing and just knowing she’s there is enough to settle me down. My brain goes quiet as I listen to her breaths even out. But as my eyes fall closed, I think I’m only asleep for a couple of minutes before I wake up with a jolt.
“What’s wrong?” Laiken asks.
She must’ve felt the bed shake or heard my gasp.
“Nothing,” I assure her. “I’m fine.”
“Okay,” she whispers into the darkness. “Goodnight, H.”
“Night.”
I close my eyes, willing for sleep to finally take me under, but every time it does, I’m jolted awake, thinking she’s gone again. I look over at her, seeing her staring back at me with a concerned look on her face.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she says as if she has a direct line to my thoughts.
I want to tell her that I know she isn’t, but I can’t. My mouth just won’t form the words. I’ve never had the greatest luck, and I’m afraid that if I say it, I’ll jinx it and she’ll end up leaving again.
So, instead, I stay quiet—moving so I can get more comfortable and forcing myself to close my eyes.
By the third time it happens, I decide to just stay up all night, but Laiken seems to have a better idea. She sits up and runs her fingers through her hair, then comes closer. I watch as she leans over me, accidentally putting her tis in my face. It instantly makes me want her, but she’s on a mission.
Pulling open the nightstand drawer, she reaches in and I hear the unmistakable sound of handcuffs. I had bought them after our little run in with the police at the airfield, but they’re getting put to a different use tonight.
As she starts to back away, I can’t help myself. I reach up, putting my hand on the back of her neck and pulling her down. Her lips press against mine and we both sigh into it. There are no intentions behind it. I’m not trying to get in her pants, even though Lord knows I want to. It’s just a soft, gentle kiss because I couldn’t resist it anymore.
“Hayes,” she sighs. “What are we doing?”
I kiss her once more, buying myself time to think of an answer, but I still don’t have one. “I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t apologize. Not for that.”
Rolling onto my side, I open my arms for her, and she slides down to get comfortable against me. I’m probably confusing the fuck out of her.I’meven confused.
“I haven’t sorted it all out in my head yet,” I murmur. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know I needed to kiss you.”
It’s not enough, but it’s enough for her. She exhales contently and cuddles closer into me before she takes my wrist and fastens one of the cuffs around it. Then, she puts the other on herself.
“There,” she says decisively. “Now I can’t go anywhere, and you can get some sleep.”
A smirk spreads across my face as I take the opportunity to fuck with her. “I probably should’ve mentioned I don’t have the key to those.”
But she doesn’t freak out like I thought she would. She doesn’t even open her eyes. She just hums.
“You don’t care?” I ask.
“No,” she replies tiredly. “There are worse things in the world than being handcuffed to you.”
That plays through my head on a loop as I fall asleep with a smile on my face. And if it’s the best sleep I’ve gotten in a year and a half, so be it.
