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I growl at him and watch as he picks up a titty magazine my brother must have left. “May I?”
“You may.”
He sets to work as I head upstairs with August where we rummage around to find enough outfits for everyone. Lex doesn’t even hesitate, he just slides the fishnets onto his head. It’s clear he’s embraced his life as S&Mmhmm Man.
When I come down, I try to hand Ellison an outfit, but it’s clear he’s not getting out of his suit. He at least takes a hat and a mask that August offers him, but he also benefits from not being seen by media often. He scowls at the mask as he tries to fit his glasses over it.
Deus has made himself a mask out of what must have been a full-page spread of the biggest boobs available that he’s cut little peepholes out of for his eyes. Somehow, it seems to magnify the voluptuous breasts.
“What the hell do you have on your face?” Ellison demands.
Deus looks pleased Ellison notices, like he mistakenly thinks it’s a good look. “You want a pair?”
“Why didn’t you cut out like an ad or something? Why did you pick the breasts?” Ellison asks.
“I cut out the nipples! It’s all fine. No one will notice,” he says, like not everyone has already noticed.
“We look ridiculous,” Ellison announces.
“I think we look phenomenal,” I say as we head out to the car. August gets into the driver’s seat and starts driving toward the meeting hall that the SAVCGEM meet at.
“Where are we going?” Ellison asks. “The aquarium is that way.”
“We’re going to the zoo that has an aquarium a town over to avoid people, but we have someplace we have to stop first,” I explain.
And that is how we end up walking into the building where the SAVCGEM is already mid meeting.
“What… is this?” Deus asks as he looks around, eyeing them all.
“This is sketchy. This already looks sketchy,” Ellison says.
Everyone falls silent as their attention snaps over to us, likely wondering what I’m up to now.
“Holy hell, my baby boy hasmorefriends?” Dad announces from his spot at the podium.
“I’m just drowning in them,” I say. “It’s like a sausage fest wherever I go. But it’s my birthday, and I don’t feel like sitting through your godawfully boring meeting, Dad, so let’s get straight to the point. This is NoTouchy Eyenipples and this is Suitboi, with an I. The ‘I’ is very important. I have paid them both to be my friends. They weren’t cheap. But eh. They’re both cute, but now I look like I have a harem, so it’s worth it.”
The group greets the two as Ellison grabs my shoulders and spins me around. “Did you take me to avillain meeting?”
The grin I’m wearing reeks of evil, I just know it, and the look on Ellison’s face tells me he also knows it. “I sure did.”
“I’m leaving,” he growls.
I step in front of him. “It’s mybirthday. You’re seriously going to leaveon my birthday? You’d do that to me?”
“Holy hell,” he grumbles. “This is ridiculous. I am not a villain!”
“You sure act like one.”
His eyes get wide as he jabs me in the chest with a finger. “You better be happy it’s your birthday because that is theonlyreason I’m putting up with this shit, do you hear me?”
“And you think you’re not evil,” I say.
Ellison hesitates then narrows his eyes some more. “Don’t get smart with me.”
“To the SUV!” Dad announces and the whole lot of them rush off for it. Since I’ve added two more to the situation, it does look like we definitely need a secondary vehicle, but my mom won’t have it.
“We’ll fit,” Mom assures them as a few people inch over to a different car in the mere hopes we can each have our own seat.
