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“Death,” she growls.
“Oh, an effective word, eh, August?”
August nods, clearly also approving. “It was… impressive. Packed a lot of punch for one single word.”
She shoves her tablet in front of my face, allowing me to take a gander at a rather nice-looking picture of me. Usually, I look like I’m mid-sneeze or my face is screwed up in some stupid expression like someone’s just jabbed me in the ass with an electric prod while August looks absolutely picture perfect. Not this time.
Nope. This time I look… dare I say, perfect?
“Damn. I look fine,” I say, nodding approvingly. “Pay that photographer extra.”
Valerie’s eyes are nearly popping out of her head, telling me she’s also surprised about how fine I look. “Do you not see thedrowning man in the background?” she asks as she waves to the reporter I’d tossed into the river.
“Ooh, this photographer has talent. Look at the angle, August! It gets me, Zacia,andthe drowning man,” I say, rather impressed.
“August, I forbid this relationship. He is a bad look for you,” Valerie decides.
Now I’m just confused. “Wha? No… I finally perfected the ‘Damn, I look good superhero stare’ and you’re threatening to banish me?”
“And on top of this atrocity, I told him to wear nice clothes and he comes in looking like the Grim Reaper. All he needs is a damn scythe.”
“I look magical, thank you very much,” I say as I look down at my black skinny jeans and black button-up. Zacia is wearing a matching all-black outfit with little metal spikes that run down the spine of it. Valerie seems to think that if she can ignore my existence, I won’t be a part of this, which is A-okay with me.
She ushers August off, leaving me standing there alone with Zacia. August forlornly looks back at me as I give him a little wave and wander over to where there are snacks for us. Just as I go to pick one up, I see the reporter who I’d made friends with yesterday.
“Hey, Fishboy,” I say. “Did you see we made the news?”
He doesn’t look overly thrilled. “I did.”
“The photographer got my good side,” I announce.
“Thank you,” a woman with him says with a smile. “And Fishboy… I like that.”
Dan or Dude or whatever his name was stares at her like he’s not very impressed before heading off. He must not have loved the name for some odd reason.
I watch him go before turning back to the woman who I assume is the photographer that took the shot. “He doesn’t seem to like me much and I have absolutely no idea why,” I say.
“No idea either,” she says with a grin before holding her hand out. “I’m Nancy… I would love an interview with you sometime. I know a lot of people have done pieces on you, but no one’s actually gotten much out of you. You’re a man of mystery.”
“There’s no mystery. Basically, I just have zero interest in getting wrapped up in this stuff,” I say as I grab five cookies before thinking better of it and grabbing another four. I mean… no one can ever have too many cookies. My parents always taught me that when people give things away for free, you should take enough to enjoy for days.
They’re also idiots.
But cookies!
Valerie comes barreling up before I even get to take a bite of one. “What are you doing?”
Seriously? I swear she has memory problems. “You told me you didn’t need me!”
“Clearly, I was lying. Now come on.”
“See, I’m too smart for reverse psychology to work on me,” I say as I try to juggle all of my cookies. “Zacia! Hurry! Zacia! Papa’s being abducted by a mean old witch.”
Zacia gallops after me, clearly concerned for my wellbeing as she lets out a meow.
When I find August, he’s already decked out in his super suit and there are people working on his hair and makeup, as if they think such things would make August any more perfect. You can’t modify perfection.
“Have a seat. Maybe they can help with your gaunt complexion,” she says.
