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I knew better than to come here. “You’re not funny.”
Len grins at me as he steps back. “Come in.”
“I don’t want to come in.”
“Then stand out in my hallway and breathe heavily outside my door.ButI’m popping popcorn and about to dive into the next movie.”
“I don’t want popcorn. I just wanted to drop your junk off.”
“Oh no, I’m so sorry that I offended you with my popcorn. I should have offered you something manlier. Um… okay… uh, let’s see, manly… manly… I got a big ol’ chunk of moose meat in my freezer. Slaughtered that moose with my bare fists. I just fucking leapt onto its back and I was so manly it died on the spot.”
I rock back on my heels and fight the grin on my face. “Why are you so ridiculous?”
“It’s how I live my life,” he says as he backs up, and I find myself drawn in. He shuts the door behind me as I look around the open concept room and again… find myself questioning if it has to do with his aversion to small spaces. Or maybe he just hates elevators.
There’s something that tells me I’m better off not asking. Not yet, anyway.
He heads over to the kitchen where he sticks some popcorn into the microwave and gets out two bowls.
“You must have been really aching to get sassed to come here,” Len says. “Did you miss me?”
“I firmly believe you caused trauma to my brain after you body slammed me on the ground last night,” I say.
“Wow, I sound like a dick. You alright?” he asks as he leans against the counter.
“No. Today someone thanked me for pizza. Someone else told me that he’d never been happier than seeing his daughter’s first birthday party. I told him he should take paid time off. They don’t evengetpaid time off. And then, as if my day wasn’t horrible enough, I turned down a very nice piece of ass.”
The way the grin on his face justbloomsmakes me want to walk right out that damn door. “Oh no! That’s absolutely awful. Tragic! Do you think… do you think you’re going to make it?” He reaches up and feels my forehead. “You feel really warm, but I’m wondering if that’s because with how dead your attitude is, I thought you’d be cold to the touch.”
“Funny.”
Len seems as proud as a peacock as he grabs the finished popcorn and two beers. “Thank you. Did it feel good?”
“Blue balling it?”
That makes him chuckle and I try my hardest not to like the sound of it. “No, being thanked. It’s funny how doing kind things doesn’t only affect those you’re nice to. It makes you feel good too.”
“No, I feel like shit. I feel disgusting,” I say, even though I don’t. “Maybe I feel guilty.”
“For?”
“For not even knowing the names of the men Norn killed that were guarding me.”
“Sadly, that’s a risk many people take in this city when they choose to work a job like they have. You can’t blame yourself for that. I know that’s a risk I face every time I do something for a client. That’s why I make sure I like them enough to take that risk.”
I watch him for a long moment before looking away.
“Anyway, the past is the past. Let it die and focus on the future. Our future is chowing on popcorn and watching a movie or playing a video game. Which would you prefer?”
“Neither.”
“Want to read? I have a pile of graphic novels that I’ll probably never get through at my current read-to-buy ratio,” he says.
“Absolutely not.”
Have I ever been to a man’s house who offered such mundane things to do? I don’t think so. They generally either want something or we have sex… which then leads them to wanting something. And then I leave.
“If I could buy you anything in the world, what would you want?” I ask.
