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Every thought bled into each other as she struggled to remember what exactly she was trying to solve. Soon she was lost in the possibilities that hung over her head.
A heavy knock shook the thin door to her hotel room, jolting her out of her daze. Mila blinked, briefly looking at her clock. She must have been lost in thought since texting him back. Padding over to the door, she opened it slowly. The scent of earthy citrus hit her nose before her eyes could trail up to meet his face.
Mila held her place, refusing to give in to the urge to step back or, worse, to go to him. His eyes were dark and soft, like the first break of sunrise after a cold night when you couldn’t tell if the leaves were green or black. His hair looked like he was running his hands through it, the dark locks falling over his face.
His voice was thick and low. “Can I come in?”
Mila paused, keeping her face neutral. She would let him in; she wanted to get some things off her chest too. But she wanted him to think she wouldn’t, she wanted him to understand she had lines, and he crossed one.
His shoulders were stiff as if he assumed she was going to tell him no, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his face. After a moment, she stepped aside so he could enter, standing far enough away from him that they couldn’t accidentally touch. She still didn’t fully understand the mate bond, but she knew that when she touched him, sanity didn’t exist.
As soon as the door closed, Cyrus slumped, his shoulders curling in as if he couldn’t bear to hold his weight. He reached for her before thinking better of it, then pulled back. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.
She crossed her arms, hoping he would read her movements as annoyance instead of seeing the useless attempt it was to comfort herself.
“Mila, I’m not here to make excuses. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have lost my temper. I’m sorry.” He stepped toward her carefully as if he might spook her. Methodically, he took her hands in a light grip. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean anything I said ….”
“It’s not about what you said, Cyrus.” She pulled her hand out of his, ignoring the lost look on his face. “How can I trust you? You weren’t just lying about what you were doing. You werelyingabout a part ofyou.” Her voice cracked, emotion threatening to spill over. “How can you say you want us to give this a real try and be okay with pretending a part of your life doesn’t exist, that a part of you doesn’t exist.”
“I’m so …” he tried.
She cut him off. “It’s not fair, Cyrus. What about me? How can you expect me to love a man who won’t let me in?” Mila wished her voice was stronger, less broken.
Cyrus closed the distance, dropping to his knees before her, his face swept in pain and loss. “Please, Mila. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just so lost in finding out what happened tothem. It’s been my life for the past fifteen years. Every day, since the day they died, all I’ve ever wanted was to know the truth. When I saw you standing there, in the middle of my darkest memory, I didn’t know how to respond.”
He reached up for her, his rough, thick fingers cupping her chin.
“I wasn’t hiding my past from you. I was keeping it from tainting you. Mila, you are the only good thing in my life. You make me forget the darkness that follows me. When I’m with you, all I can see is the future, and I just want to forget about everything and bask in your sunlight.”
“Cyrus …” She sighed.
“I’ll never hold anything back from you again, I swear it. Every part of me is yours. I’ll prove it. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust and your heart. Just please don’t walk away.”
His hands tightened around hers, and for a moment, she felt the need in him that mirrored her own, the fire that drew her to his side no matter how upset she may have been. She still wanted to be with him.
“Let’s try again,” she said, “with one condition.”
He straightened his spine, hoping to chase away the defeat in his posture. “Anything,” he said.
“You have to let me help you find your parents. No more secrets.”
If she was going to do this again, there wouldn’t be anything hidden between them.
FOURTEEN
CYRUS
Of course, Mila would ask for the one thing he couldn’t give her. And not because he didn’t want to. Right now, he’d give her his kidney if that was what she wanted. But she wanted the one thing he needed to keep her away from, his secret.
You can’t let her get away,his bear growled.
I won’t.
Are you going to let her help then?he asked hopefully.
You know that’s impossible. What if she gets hurt?
If you tell her no, she’ll walk away,he snarled.
