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Then maybe I shouldn’t tell her no.
His bear fell silent. His curiosity won over his need to retort. Cyrus needed to reassure his other half that he would do everything in his power not to let Mila leave. Right after she stormed out of the house, he went into her room, and the empty space hit him so hard he nearly stumbled. His heart had been ripped out, and he had no one to blame but himself.
He couldn’t survive in a world without her. He refused to.
He knew what she wanted, and he also knew what she needed. He knew the moment he saw her face. Her eyes were shadowed mirrors, and in them, he saw everything. The hurt and confusion he caused, her lack of trust, her hesitancy to let him close. Then he saw a flicker of the only thing he knew would give him hope,longing.
All he had to do was show her exactly how much she meant. The truth of it hung around his neck like a choker. Mila was all that mattered, and he was losing her.
Once Luca had snapped him out of the hole of anger, regret, and self-pity he had begun to dig, his mind honed into a singular focus … bringing Mila home. Now he was here, on his knees, praying that he didn’t ruin the relationship they were building.
Now he had to disappoint her again.
He kept his tone gentle. “Mila, you don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I know exactly what I’m asking,” she said sharply.
“This isn’t just a search for my parents or even what happened to them. It’s something bigger, much bigger, and I’ll never forgive myself if you’re hurt because of me.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, the muscle in her small jaw clenching in frustration.
“It’s dangerous, and when you left, I realized I’ve been clinging on to the past. I saw it destroying our future. So, I’m done. I’m giving up the search, and now we can just focus on our future.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “You can’t just give up.”
Cyrus’s brows pulled together in confusion. “It’s not worth it.”
“Of course it is. You’ve been searching for so long, you can’t stop now.”
“I already have,” he said simply.
“Bullshit. You haven’t given up. You’re scared. But I’m not, and I can help you. We can do this together.”
“I don’t need to, not anymore. I’ve finally found someone better to focus my time on.”
She sighed, heavy and deep. “I can’t let you do that, Cyrus. You’ll regret it if you do, or worse, you’ll resent yourself or me. This is too important to just let go.”
“You’re important. The past means nothing if we don’t have a future.”
Her body jerked down, dropping suddenly, so they knelt facing each other. The soft, plump skin of her palm cupped his jaw, her eyes pleading yet stronger than he’d ever seen them. Absolute. “I’d never forgive myself if you gave up looking for the truth. If it were me, and those were my parents, I wouldn’t give up, and I have to believe you wouldn’tlet me.”
This was it, his crossroads moment. The moment that would determine if Mila would walk with him or away from him. She deserved the truth, all of it. Only then would she understand what he was up against. Then she would see why they had no other option but to give up.
He stood, pulling her up with him, and led her to the overstuffed chair in the corner. She didn’t resist his guidance, sitting and looking up at him. She made no move to speak, instead sitting back and giving him the space to collect his thoughts.
Her hair was wild and restless, spilling past her shoulders, the bluish color beneath her eyes letting him know just how much their separation was affecting her as well. Despite this, her expression was calm and open, an expression he was finding just as unnerving as her anger.
Mila was right.
He wasn’t honest with her. Not completely. There were parts of himself he wanted to keep from her. Not because he didn’t want her to know him but because he wanted to give her the version of himself he was without the pain that followed him. He was fundamentally aware that not mentioning anything was the same thing as lying.
Honestly, there was a part of him that didn’t want to associate Mila with anything from his past. He wanted her to be his fresh start. He needed it. But he was also too selfish to wait until he finished one life before starting the other, and he wasn’t willing to spoil the good thing they were building.
But he had; he’d made the first tear in the fabric of their trust, and now he had to mend it.
He took the chair opposite of her. “I promised you no more secrets, no more lies, and I intend to keep that promise. I can’t let you help me find my parents, but not because I don’t want to, it’s because they’re not the only thing I’m searching for.”
Her brows pull together. “I’m not following,” she said, her tone measured.
