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“I just—it’s bad. I’ve had four-year relationships with women who wouldn’t let me do that.”
Valdemar was walking away, down the sidewalk.
Niles hurried after him. “Come on, Valdi, what should I do?”
“This is why you pull me from my warm bed, from the warm arms of my girlfriend? This?” Valdi glared at him.
“I should apologize, right? Or do you think she just maybe never wants to see me again?”
“Was she into it?”
“I mean… kind of. I don’t know. It’s not a situation where that matters, is it? Because I am in a position of power, and so, therefore, she wascoerced.”
“Right,” said Valdi, nodding. “Right, you had sex in exchange for something else. Sex as currency. You treated her like a prostitute.”
“Sex worker, come on, man.”
Valdemar laughed. “No, that was a deliberate word choice to describe your behavior. You didn’t even give her the dignity of treating her like a sex worker, see? There’s power in language, and as an English professor—”
“You know what I—”
“Anyway, point being, thatispretty fucked up, actually.”
“I know.” Niles groaned. He felt ill. Really sick to his stomach. He didn’t want anything to drink at the bar. He was going tovomit.
Valdemar sighed, shaking his head. “Why do you do these things?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you’re the person who’s doing it, so you have to know.”
“It was like… I mean… how do you turn that down?”
“Because it’s wrong?”
“Well, but…” Niles gestured with both hands. “It’s happening. I’m in this position where a thing ishappening, and it’s like something out of porn, you know? Like, it’sreallyhappening, and I… well, I just started thinking that if I didn’t do it, I might regret it. You know? So…”
“But now you did it, and you regret it.”
“I know.” Niles cringed. “I know. I always do this. Why do people even say that thing, about mostly regretting the things you didn’t do?”
“Those people are talking about, like, skydiving and shit, not about sexually harassing their employees.”
“I’m going to be sick,” said Niles. He paused, looking for a handy bush to vomit into, but there was nothing.
Valdemar dragged him sideways. They had reached the Meck. His apartment was practically on top of the place. Niles slithered up over the steps and inside. He followed Valdemar to the bar. The place was pretty empty, thank goodness.
Everyone must be at the Dev for the show. Except, if Kevin had an emergency, then—
“Shots,” Valdemar was saying. “We need shots.”
“No,” said Niles. “No, I’m going to hurl, and—”
“Jagermeister,” said Valdemar.
“You’re going to kill me,” said Niles.
“You’re going one way or the other,” said Valdemar.
