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A lump forms in my throat, and I look away, the knot in my chest twisting tighter as the urge to close the distance between us tests every ounce of my strength.
“Ava,” he murmurs, and I reluctantly look at him. “Baby, please talk to me. Let me explain.”
“No,” I reply, forcing strength into my tone. “And don’t call me baby.”
“Please,” he begs, looking grief stricken, and my bottom lip trembles, “Just give me a chance.”
“Just—” I croak. “Just answer one question, and I want the truth.”
“What?”
“Was what we had real?”
“It was more real than anything I’ve ever had before in my life. Every moment. Every touch. Every time we made love. It was all real.”
“And who was the Mason I was with during all those moments we shared?”
“It was me.”
“Bullshit,” I snap, anger starting to overtake my emotions, and I welcome it. Anger is easier to handle. “The Mason I was with is a completely different person to one Hadley got to know. So tell me honestly. Which one is the real you?”
“The one standing in front of you right now. The one that shared all of those moments with you. The one that would do anything for you and risk everything just to have you in his life. It’s all me.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “The Mason I got to know wouldn’t deliberately hurt me.”
“I didn’t deliberately hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“But you did anyway.”
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I hate myself for the pain I have caused you.”
“Then why did you do it?” I cry, hot tears starting to trickle down my cheeks.
“Because I was desperate. I just wanted a chance. We were worlds apart, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wanted to be in your life so badly that I did things I never thought I was capable of to make it happen. I make no excuses for it. Yes, it was wrong but had I not done it, I never would have got to spend that time with you.”
“If that’s true and you really did want me that badly, then why did I find you in bed withher?”
He lets out an exasperated breath. “I can’t explain it because when I said I don’t remember, it’s the truth.”
“You only had one drink. How could you not remember?”
“I swear to you. I honestly don’t. There is no way in the world I would sleep with her.”
As much as I am at war with myself over everything, part of me does believe him. Finding them together not only devastated me, but it also never made sense. But my head is such a mess right now, I can’t seem to determine what the truth is and what is a lie. And I don’t have enough faith in myself to try and figure it out.
“How am I supposed to believe you? I never believed you would be capable of the things you did, but as it turns out, I was wrong. I don’t trust myself to believe anything anymore.”
“Ava!” Lyndsey’s voice rings out in the hall, and I turn from Mason to see her walking toward me. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I give Mason one last look before walking up to meet with her.
“Ava,” he calls, his voice cracking in pain, and I stop as I reach Lyndsey, reluctantly turning my head to look back at him. “My love for you is real. If you don’t believe anything else, please believe that at least.”
Lyndsey’s expression softens when her eyes land on Mason, the desperation in his voice causing her eyes to glaze over with sympathy; before turning her attention back to me and wrapping her arm around my shoulder, gently leading me away. “Let’s go, babe.”
* * *
“How areyou feeling after talking to Mason today?” Lyndsey asks as she drives me home from school.
