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I laugh. “I do that every day, Mom.”
“No. I’m serious!”
“I promise. I’ll live.”
“Good.”
She holds up a finger and then gets up and leaves to get herself another drink. Once she returns, she enjoys it and then another, the two of us talking about nothing too important.
When she stands after that, she almost falls back down onto her lounge chair.
“Mom, maybe you should come with me,” I say.
“Another drink?”
"How about we get out of the sun? You look a little sunburned," I say.
A slight lie. She’s red in the face, yes, but I think that’s more from her drinks than being sunburned.
She lets me help her back to the room. With my foot, I kick the door shut behind us.
“You’re such a good daughter,” she says, slurring a bit. “I couldn’t… couldn’t have asked for a better one. You… You amaze me.”
“Thanks, Mom. Here. No. Over here. This bed is yours. There you go.”
She smiles at me and reaches out, maybe to pat my face, only she’s not touching me. Is she seeing double?
I sit with her, staying until she passes out, snoring. From the fridge, I grab a water bottle and place it on her nightstand for when she wakes up. I’m not ready to call it a night yet, and I head out of the room.
Despite my putting on a show for Mom that I'm all right and have everything all sorted out, that's not exactly true. I'm still trying to sort through my own nerves about everything with my father. I'm so glad she's not nervous about the idea of Father turning on me once she flees for good, but what if her concerns are justified? What if college doesn't live up to my expectations? What if I fail my classes and don't make any friends and don't find a guy? Not that a guy is the be-all and end-all of a girl's dreams, but still, I think I want at least a sign that not all guys are like my father. I mean, Kyle's a good guy. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy like him, but he's the exception, not the norm.
But even more than maybe me getting a guy, I want my mom to. I want her to have a second chance at love.
Maybe I should try to see if I can hook her up with a guy here after all, but no. She said she’s not ready yet, and I should respect that. She wants to divorce my father, but she’s not yet, and if I know my mom, she’s not just about sex. She needs feelings and love to spread her legs.
Gah, I don't want to think about this. The bottom line, I want her to be happy, and I don't want her to be lonely.
I guess I’m just going to have to hope she finds someone in Europe.
CHAPTER10
There had been a flier with info about the different activities for the night, but I’m not sure I want to be around a lot of people at the moment. It’s getting later and later, and I walk around for a while before I eat lunch. After that, I walk around some more until I find a pool that doesn’t have many people nearby.
I'm not sure where everyone else has gone, or maybe they're off doing some of the activities. I don't care.
I lie out and sunbathe a little and then dip into the water. It's so refreshing and freeing to be able to do what I want without worrying. My father isn't here. There's no need to be afraid for my mom. She's able to do whatever she wants, and if that means getting drunk here or there, who am I to judge? I just want her to be happy.
And that she’s willing to move to Europe… That’s huge. I know it’s scary and frightening for her, but if she views it as a grand adventure, maybe it’ll be easier on her.
After a few laps, I flip onto my back and float some, keeping my eyes open, staring up at the clear blue sky. It looks like a postcard, and I almost have to pinch myself to accept that this is real.
A part of me is so happy that my father’s money is paying for all of this. You can’t put a price tag on peace of mind.
Another part of me wants nothing to do with him at all and that includes his money.
How exactly my mom is going to be able to handle the cost of living in Europe… She’s told me before that she doesn’t want to discuss finances with me, and I get that, but I just hope that she knows what she needs to do to not get caught by my father. She’s paying for everything in cash. We actually had to go in and book the cruise with a travel agent who was able to score us some onboard credit as well.
Everything seems to be coming together, and I’m starting to think about college all over again. It’s going to be great. All of the relaxation and freedom here and then continued freedom at college even if it isn’t the easiest. I’ve been a decent enough student all along, but I have to think that college is a whole other level.
