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“You know how you can ensure that? By divorcing him and getting as far away as possible.”
“It’s oh so easy to just give up and leave and not bother to stand up and fight for what you believe in—”
“Standing by Father would prove what exactly?” I demand. “Kyle and I are grown up. I’m going to college in less than a month. Kyle’s already in college. We don’t need to have you two stick together for the sake of us, and fighting for marriage is one thing, but not when it’s like this, Mom. Not when it’s toxic.”
“It’s so easy to say it’s toxic when you don’t know everything. I’m sorry you’ve heard us scream at each other a few times, but your dad… he’s assured me that he…”
“What? That he’ll straighten things out? That the Thunder Crows won’t be a mob anymore? Yeah, sure. Okay. Don’t be stupid, Mom.”
“Don’t you dare talk to me like that, young lady.”
I wearily rub my forehead. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that, but, Mom, you are being naïve, and I'm scared. Honestly, I'm terrified that Father is going to kill you. Can't you see how a divorce would be better than that?"
“No, honey. Deep down, your dad loves me—”
“Maybe at one time he did, but right now, I think he loves money and power and influence more than all of that. Can you really say otherwise? It’s not like before. When you two would bicker over little things, he would buy you flowers. Maybe because he really felt contrite or maybe just because he wanted to use you then too, but he never apologizes now, and look around. We aren’t even at home. We’re in a hotel room. Granted, it’s nice that it has this huge kitchen and all, but this isn’t home. This isn’t our house, and we aren’t at home right now why?”
Mom won’t meet my gaze.
“Oh, that’s right. Because you got into another fight with Father, and you’re afraid he’s going to lash out at you and curse you out, but sure. He loves you still. He never even listens to you anymore. The money he has now isn’t worth it.”
“I don’t have a job,” she whispers.
“I know. He’s trying to make you feel small, like you need him, can’t survive without him, but you’re stronger than that. I know you are.”
My mom just shakes her head, and my heart feels like it’s breaking.
Her will. Father’s claimed that as his, and until I can shatter the hold he has on her, I’m afraid we’ll never get away from him fully.
Until he kills one or the other of us.
Or maybe both of us.
CHAPTER2
My mom's asleep, or at least she's pretending to be. I slip out of my bed and head out to the balcony for some fresh air.
My mom’s frustrating me to no end, but I’m trying to understand things from her point of view. It’s just hard, though, because to me, everything seems so clear cut. Divorce Father, move on, start over.
Yes, starting over can be terrifying, but wouldn’t being married to a mafia boss be even worse? Especially since he’s been demonstrating signs of violence?
It’s almost midnight here, which means it’s almost ten in California so I decide it’s not too late to call Erika.
The phone rings once, twice, three times. She’s probably too busy with her guys.
She’s in love with four of them.
And what’s more, they aren’t making her pick just one.
They all love her.
So crazy, but hey, it’s working for her, and I am so damn happy and proud of her for rising above the shitstorm that had been her life.
Now, it’s my turn, only I don’t want her to have any clue what’s going on with me. No reason to rain on her parade.
In fact, she’s probably too busy in bed with one of the guys… or maybe even more than one of them…
“Katie!” Erika says.
