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CHAPTER SEVEN
Huff
I can’t fucking believe it. I camethisclose to losing control with River.
I sit on the edge of my bed, hands shaking. That was seriously messed up. The sooner I’m dead, the better.Breathe. I am calm. Breathe. I am calm.
Ten minutes later, there’s a light knock on the door.
“Is it safe to come in?” River asks.
“No. You can’t be here.”
She opens the door anyway. “But my flight home isn’t until tomorrow.”
“There’s a motel in town. I’ll call you a cab.”
She’s quiet for a long moment. “Huff?” she says calmly. “I know you would never really hurt me.”
“How?”
“Because you’d stop yourself before anything bad happened.”
I let out a slow breath. “Well, I don’t know anything.” She had to slap me to snap me out of it.
River leans against the doorway. “I don’t blame you for what just happened, yanno.”
I nod but don’t look at her. I can’t. I’m ashamed. I’m supposed to protect her, but I’m her biggest threat. My mere existence is a danger to her life.
“Andyoushouldn’t blame yourself either,” she adds. “It’s that crap in your body. I read that it heightens adrenaline and testosterone production.”
She’s talking about the other drug—the one the students at our university were exposed to. I’m sure whatever was in that pool is even worse.
She walks over and sits next to me on the bed. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Huff. I feel like it’s all my fault.”
Ridiculous. “How can you say that?”
“I pushed you to come to my university. I made you go to that party.”
The partywas where Blake attacked her. I stopped him, and later that night, he hunted us down and tried to drown me in that pool.
“If anyone’s to blame, it’s Morris and Keni. Not you,” I say. “They created monsters. Me included.”
“You’re not a monster. You’re my Huff.” She looks me in the eyes with tenderness I don’t deserve.
She has no idea how much I want to kiss her and test out my new dick. Yes, I’m thinking about sex right now. I’m a guy. Also, I’ve been practicing being gentle and not removing the paint from the ceiling.God, I hope she doesn’t look up.
“Do you remember that time we went trick-or-treating as the Hudson River?” We wore dark green shirts and pinned trash and plastic fish to us.
“How could I forget?”
“I really wanted to go as a taco so I could be the tortilla and have an excuse to hug you all night.”
She laughs. “Hudson Ulysses Ferris, you dirty, dirty boy.”
“I always liked you, Riv. Always.”
“How come you never said anything?”
