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Because I felt lucky just to be friends with her. She never cared if I was a geek or her female friends gave her shit for hanging out with me. We made each other laugh. We had adventures together. “Come on. Look at you. You’re smart, beautiful, funny—way out of my league.”
“I am, aren’t I?” She smiles with a chuckle. “I always liked you, too, but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Especially because I couldn’t see us working out.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Remember when I told you that Krissy May wanted you to ask her to the eighth-grade dance, and you said you didn’t believe me?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s why I never pushed for more. I was telling the truth, but you couldn’t accept that someone might think you’re cute—which you are. You always have been. Those big intense blue eyes. Your pouty lower lip. The jaw and chin.”
“Naw. I was a scrawny dork.”
“Everyone was a dork, Huff. Remember my psychic phase in the fifth grade?”
I laugh. She and I were so close, we’d finish each other’s sentences, but she was convinced she could read people’s minds. She started wearing this blue scarf over her forehead and charging fifty cents at recess to do readings. She got every single one wrong and had to refund their money. Eventually, she moved on to making friendship bracelets.
“I always thought you should’ve stuck with it, Riv. Maybe started your own reality show with those Bigfoot hunters.” I wave my hand through the air, reading the invisible billboard. “What Is Bigfoot Thinking?”
“Har, har. My point is we were all silly kids with pimples, weird hair, and braces.”
“Not you. You were always so beautiful.” Her warm brown eyes, her smooth tan skin, her cute little ass. I could stare at her all day.
“Trust me, I was just as awkward as you were. But you could never see the smart, funny boy that I did.” She shrugs. “I figured someday you’d grow up into a hot, hot man and find yourself, and maybe then we might…you know, end up together.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. It’s why I’m so hurt over this whole thing, Huff. I would have been there for you. I would have—”
“Dropped out of school and gone into hiding with me?” I scoff. She knows I would never let her do that.
“I dropped out anyway.”
“But you’re going back.”
“Probably,” she says. “I mean yes. Yes, I am. But this past year’s been tough.”
It kills me that her future’s been derailed because of me. “Promise that no matter what, you’ll go back, get your degree, and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.” She was studying psychology and wanted to help others.
“That’s the problem. I can’t see a future without you in it.” She gazes into my eyes with a look of deep affection, and now I can’t hold back. The urge to touch her, hold her, and do dirty things to her is almost too much to handle. Being separated has left a deep mark.
I lean in to kiss her, and she meets me halfway. I’m relieved she still wants me after all the shit I’ve done.
Our mouths press lightly. Her lips are soft and warm. She smells and tastes amazing.Floral.Okay, and maybe a little sweaty after all those flights and walking here, but still amazing.
What the hell am I doing?I pull back. “I’m sorry I did that.”
“I’m not,” she whispers and slides her hand on my leg, launching pulses of heat through my body. “Keep going.”
I can’t risk this going further even if I want her so badly. I gently return her hand to her lap. “You know we can’t.”
“You really don’t want me, do you?”
I do want her. We’ve never done more than kiss, but it physically hurts not to be with her. “I have imagined us having sex more times than I can count.”Just check out my ceiling.“But we can’t see each other again after today, and having sex’ll only make it harder to let go.”
“I’m sure you could figure out a way for us to be together if you really wanted to, Huff.”
“I can’t risk it, River.” I get up to grab my phone. “It’s too dangerous.” There’s my rage issue, and then there’s my enemies’ issues.
