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“After Mark died.”
“After Mark abandoned her. He disappeared until the ratings forRaising Ryderskyrocketed. Then he showed up. But not for her.”
“For her money.” The more he tells, the more this story sucks.
“They never married.” He walks over to me. “So he went after the only thing he could. He sued for sole custody and child support while he blackmailed her on the side. She pays. He drops the custody suit.”
I sink onto the arm of the sofa. “But it didn’t happen.”
“We took him to court. Proved parental negligence and abandonment. It was ugly, but we won. And your mom made me promise to keep him out of your lives. Even after he died.”
“How did he die?”
“Hunting accident. Guns plus alcohol and three of his buddies who didn’t know the wrong end of a rifle.”
I should feel something. But it’s like David shared a complete stranger’s backstory. “Is that why you’re always riding my ass? Because I’m his kid?” I get off the sofa. “He’s a loser, I’m a loser?”
“No, Gabe, I’m always riding your ass because I see a boy who doesn’t have to be like his father.”
“I guess you failed.”
“That’s conjecture. You’re nothing like him.” He’s using lawyer-speak, but he’s looking at me with a fatherly expression I’ve only ever witnessed him give Coley.
The nothingness I feel for Mark doesn’t extend to David. And I’m kicked around by so many conflicting and foreign emotions that I can’t do anything but head to the door. “I gotta go.”
“Gabe. Please don’t write me out of your life.” The loss in his voice stops me faster than his hand on my shoulder.
I tense under his touch, under the truth that David’s been a better father than Mark ever would’ve been. Coley was right. Even after everything, even when he doesn’t have to be, David’s still here.
He drops his hand, his eyes carrying the fallout of all those secrets he shouldn’t have kept, and I can’t seem to turn the page of our script.
I stand here and think about David, Mom, Mark, the lies, and the why behind them. And still don’t have a clue. What to say. What to do. So I do something I’ve only ever done with Jess, I get real. “You shouldn’t have lied.”
“You’re right. And your mom shouldn’t have asked you and Coley to make that promise when she... got sick.”
“You were onboard with that promise. It’s the only time we’ve ever agreed.”
“I agreed forher.” Silence. More silence. Too much silence. “But just because Meredith Wade wants something doesn’t mean what she wants is the right thing for anyone but herself.” The stifling regret weighing down his voice can’t be mistaken for anything other than long-term, personal experience.
And for the first time, I feel like we might have something in common besides that summer we connected over the Mustang.
“Look.” He goes to tug at the nonexistent tie again and ends up fisting his hand over his chest. “I can’t withdraw the lies or the words we’ve thrown at each the last few months. But I can present evidence of what you and Coley mean to me. You’re the only family I have. You’re important to me.”
“I know.” He would’ve walked out of the insanity of our lives a long time ago if we weren’t. “I’m sorry I’m always such a shi—” I clear my throat. “Ajerkaround you.”
The relief in his eyes runs deep. “I’m sorry I always seem to bring out thejerkin you.” He squeezes my shoulder.
Fatherly David is new. I’m not quite ready to handle him. “I need to work some things out for myself.” I back up. “Give me a little space, okay?”
“I can do that.” He gives me a David-size smile. It’s small, but it’s there. “It’s your move, Gabe. Call when you’re ready. Or if you need me. I’m not going anywhere.”
I nod and manage to stay chill as I walk out the door. But as soon as I hit the stairs, I sprint down all ten flights to the Mustang and drive the hell out of the highway all the way back to North Carolina.
chapter 65
Jess
Being locked out of T’s arms and banned from his smile felt so much worse than Dad leaving, and that about ruined me. So when T knocked on my window holding our sleeping bag, I didn’t ask why he broke our silence, I just went with him to the park and curled up on his chest under the stars and cried. He might’ve too. He wouldn’t let me see his face, but his voice sounded funny when he said, “Lizzie, I love you, and we’ll work this out.” I really hope he’s right.
