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“Yes.”
“He knew what he was giving you to,” Demetrius said gruffly.
“I know he said I could, but…”
“You don’t believe him,” Marcella said.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. After what had happened in Florida, I couldn’t rely on what Sterling had told me in Seattle. Not that I’d ever put much faith in it. It had never been faith I’d wanted to test. Not that it seemed like Sterling even knew what he wanted or what he meant.
I rubbed my left ring finger.
Marcella asked, “Do you want to talk about Searle?”
Shook my head once. “It’s not like it matters.”
“Why doesn’t it matter?”
“I’m trapped with him. I’m trapped like this.” Droplets slid down the outside of my glass.
Their silence confirmed I was, in fact, trapped. We all were committed to our roles, and we had to play our parts until the bitter end.
“Nothing can change,” I said softly. “Gaia’s Wheel turns. It pulls us with it. Or under it.”
“Do you feel safe in your den?” Demetrius asked.
Oh, that’s what we were talking about.
Safewas such a strange word. What didsafereally mean? I wasn’tsafewith Searle.
But I also hadn’t beensafewith Sterling.
And I wouldn’t besafeon the island. Or anywhere. So what wassafe? What was he really asking?
The two of us locked into a room together hadalwaysbeen going to end badly. Just a matter of what shapebadhad taken.
It didn’t matter. So I said, “Yes.”
It wasn’t true, but maybe it also wasn’t a lie, depending on how you wanted to definesafe.
And I didn’t want to talk about it. Not with Marcella and Demetrius, not with Searle, not with Gaia Herself.
Not how I’d flung myself at him. Not how he’d put his hands on me. Not how I’d ground myself on him. Not how he’d ripped off my shorts and put his cock against me.
My mind curled inwards on itself, pulling back from everything.
Demetrius prodded. “Are you sure? We can deal with it if you don’t.”
Spikes of anger extended from my mind. “Deal with ithow? How are youpossiblygoing todealwith this? What did youthinkwas going to happen locking an in-heat female and an unmated male in the same room? You sent Tim out of the house, but kept Searle here for appearances. And you’re shocked somethingterriblehappened? You’re sitting here asking me if you shoulddealwith it? There’s nothing todeal with. It’s all shattered and broken and ruined andnothingis going todealwith it.”
The angerhurt. I was so raw, and the crushes of anger left me aching more.
Neither of them had a good answer for that. Not that I wanted one.
“Andnowyou want to deal with it,” I said under my breath. Hilarious.Now. Bit late. Didn’t matter. I pushed back my chair. My muscles were still weak and noodley. Two days of a dangerously high fever and twitching will do that.
Demetrius put one hand on my wrist. His fingers radiated strength, even though his grip exerted no pressure. “I’m sorry for this. Our commitment and insistence to the masquerade went too far. We have no excuse. We thought nature would take its course, or you’d be able to get through.”
“You thought I’dfuckhim?” I asked. “YouknowI’m mated and married! And not to him!”
