Page 45 of The SnowFang Secret


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Oh no, he didn’t get to play the silentI can’t be bothered to argue thiswithme. I surged to my feet. My left fingers twitched with searing guilt that this entire situation was my fucking fault. I should have bailed on Spring when my instincts told me to, but no, I’d had to chase that prey like a stupiddogchasing a squirrel right into traffic. “Let’s get one thing straight,mate. I’mneverthe last to know. Don’t youeverbring me into a meeting like this again so I can be ambushed.”

“I didn’t want to argue this with you. We were discussing something else at the time.”

“I don’t know about you, but I can handle more than one conversation thread.”

“You were already emotional. Still are, it seems.”

Out of the corner of my eye, Henri winced. Sarah pressed her lips together in awell, he’s deadexpression.

“I wasconcernedthat you and Emily had had more than some happy fun time and I’d crash-landed into something! That does not make meemotional. It makes me deeply concerned I was stomping all over feelings and creating animosity.” I was getting sick oftryingto do the right thing just to have it bite me in the ass. Maybe it was time to start doing thewrongthing. “Soyouget to decide when we argue.Youget to decide when I should worry my pretty little head about something. Or is this you just don’t want to talk about him? Because he is, and will remain,very real.”

Searle tilted his head away from me,veryslightly eyeing me out of the corner of his eye.

I growled.

He didn’t move.

Demetrius shifted forward a hair. “First Beta, this is when you acknowledge your mistake. And it isnevera good idea to imply a she-wolf being emotional means she’s incapable of having a rational conversation, or what she’s saying isn’t valid.” Demetrius lowered his voice to a stage whisper. “That is a very good way to die.”

“Or end up sleeping on the bath mat,” Marcella told Demetrius in her sweetest tone.

Demetrius smiled at her with a hint of awkward unease, while Marcella favored him with her most lovingand I’d do it againsmile.

Searle, after another couple of chunks of heartbeats, shifted his jaw to expose his jugular a tiny fraction.

My left hand danced a guilty song on a cosmic piano I’d never wanted to play. I sat back down and swung my attention back to Marcella while trying to choke down the metallic wash of dead-blood grief that reminded me of the nightmare of Sterling as scales of flesh.

Searle, soft and mossy as he could be, returned to his position at my shoulder. Tempting as it was to smack his hand away, wouldn’t do for Marcella and Demetrius to think I wasn’t willing to keep playing along.

Marcella noted it, though. “We’ll expect you to put on a happy face. Make nice for the pack, wave to the crowds, kiss the groom. We felt that performance would be easier for you to accomplish at Equinox than Summer Solstice, should things go badly in July. Which they likely will.”

The inventory of tasks hit like pebbles. “Have you told Sterling you’re thinking of pushing it off? Or why he’s being put on the spot?”

Henri sighed. “I don’t spend much time explaininganythingto Sterling. He does best with very clear, non-negotiable directions and treated like a rabid animal at the end of several control sticks.”

“He’s not a mongrel,” I said.

“No, but he is a wolf on a mission, and any distraction, detour, or perceived obstacle to his goal is handled with ruthless and unmitigated aggression. He’s already sent three of his bunkmates and a trainer who talked a bit too much shit to the doctor. So he gets told when, where, and what. But not why. He’s got his why. There’s no point shattering his confidence if he doesn’t give a good showing. He already knows he’s going to his death.”

It would take more than Henri’s doubt to shatter Sterling’s confidence. And Sterling had no fear of death. As much as the thought of being with Searle for another year made my soul gibber in a corner, I’d already done six weeks. Iwoulddo twelve months. Sterling would give Henri the showing he wanted.

Time to buckle up for the long haul.

Demetrius slid his palm along Marcella’s thigh. “If you choose Summer to announce, we’ll expect you to find a way to be a happy bride, right down to your scent. During Equinox, you have more excuses for why your scent may be off. I expecttotaleffort, even with Sterling watching. And I expect you to be able to watch Sterling’s presentation with ice water in your veins. The same composure you had while getting cut with silver.”

“If you want to call me screaming and gibbering about rabbits composed, sure. I was composed.”

“I have seen and enacted silver torture. You were composed.”

If it was only a demonstration fight between two skilled warriors, the risk of serious injury was minimal. I’d seen plenty of fights of every variety. And if the AmberHowl were willing to give Sterling another year... “Equinox, then.”

Demetrius raised both brows and looked between Searle and me. “Youwillmeet expectations. Both of you. There are already enough whispers that you two are not intimate, at all, and that you are clearly uncomfortable with him. Do better.Muchbetter. The pack needs reassurance and already has enough questions about Summer.Stopgiving them questions.”

“Yes, Alpha,” Searle said.

Marcella was kinder, but kinder in the way a brick was kinder than a hammer. “This is why we’ve been unrelenting, Summer. So you’ll have muscle memory when the pack calls on it. It may help to practicemorephysical contact, and get comfortable with that, and build from there.”

“You’re asking us to smell like sex,” I said, hating how strangled I sounded. “He’sstill alive.”

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