Page 54 of Gate of Chaos


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Auryn smirked. “You’d have to have lived topside to understand the context. This is anuncoolvehicle.”

“Uncool?” Akoni inquired.

“Yes. The context is once you have acquired a minivan, you are no longer a sexual or attractive creature with an exciting life, and instead have become very boring and require a vehicle to haul children instead of the vehicle you actually want. There is no Lemurian analog.”

Akoni paused in his inspection. “So humans who require a minivan no longer engage in sex? This seems implausible to me.”

“Not literally, no.”

“But what if youwantchildren and are happy to require this vehicle?”

“I didn’t say it makes sense.”

“Because I would be very pleased to have a need to have a vehicle to haul multiple children.”

“Ack. Don’t say that!” I waved my hands. “No! No!”

“But it meant theysurvived.” Akoni gestured to the large interior of the van.

“Youbetternot get baby rabies!” I still had the filament in my arm that A’ka said was utterly pointless as I no longer had a period of any sort, and she had verified I no longer ovulated. “We have shit to do and I don’t want to deal with your scales... leaking.”

Auryn shoved Akoni into the van. “Let me instruct you on the other purpose of the van. Thefree candy van.”

“Can we demonstrate?” Keon asked dryly.

I got into the passenger seat. “If he keeps talking about babies, definitely.”

“What’s a free candy van?” Akoni asked. “I like candy.”

“When did you give him candy?” I asked Keon.

“Last time we were topside. He fucking likes circus peanuts.”

Keon was full of shit. “Nobody likes circus peanuts.”

“Ye Olde Lemurian Retriever there does.” Keon pointed over his shoulder at Akoni.

“I have not met any candy I do not like,” Akoni said matter-of-factly. “I am on a quest to find a candy I do not like.”

I rolled my eyes. “Forget I said anything.”

Keon sighed. “He hasn’t met much topside he doesn’t like when it comes to food.”

“Can we go to another buffet? I saw an advertisement for one on the way here.”

“We are never taking him to Vegas,” Auryn commented.

“He would spontaneously combust,” Keon said.

“Or he’d get us thrown out as he eats his way through every buffet in town.”

“Challenge accepted,” Akoni said smugly.

Keon sighed again. “Where are we going?”

“Head out to where you found me eating sad nachos. My family’s house isn’t far from there.”

“How can nachos be sad?” Akoni inquired. “Can we stop for sad nachos?”

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