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“Please shut up and stop tempting the universe.”
“I notice you aren’t drinkingbeer, though,” Becka commented. “Something already cooking?”
“I’m staying sober becausethem.” I pointed at the guys.
“You sure? I’m not sure. I think the pool boy there is practicing his dad reflexes.”
I rolled my eyes. “I have no comment I wish to make at this time.”
The cousins returned, pleading for more and wanting to see Akoni’s scars.
“So,” Mom said. “Doctor, engineer, grease monkey.”
“Mom.” I caught the sniff of disdain in her voice for that last item.
“Weird mix.”
“He’s abrilliantmechanic, he just never went off-island to get fancy schooling.”
“Jeez, Mom, who taught us to be single income ladies?” Emily rolled her eyes. Then she nudged Becka. “I’m broke. Can I crash with you until I get my doctorate?”
“What did you just say about single-income?” Becka asked.
“She has a single income: what we give her,” I teased. Emily smacked me while we laughed. She’d chosen the broke life of a research physicist.
Mom moved on to more important things. “But can Akoni fix a toaster oven?”
“Uh… well, why not ask him?”
“Mom killed another toaster,” Becka muttered.
“So why hasn’t she just bought a new one?” I whispered back.
Beckarolllllllllledher eyes. “Warranty claim.”
“Those poor bastards have no idea what they’ve done.” Companies not playing fair with warranties, rebates, terms of service, conditions of carriage? Mom hunted those on the weekends for recreation. She otherwise spent her workweek imitating a honey badger while she pursued large-scale financial sector shenanigans.
Mom shifted her tea to her other hand and called, “Akoni!” like he was a pool boy.
Akoni straightened, hesitated like a doubtful Golden Retriever—she heard that note in his voice—and then strode over. Not obediently, but with all his arrogance on display, sauntering like the princeling he was.
Becka’s eyes got wide. I smirked into my tea. Keon had been absconded with by one of my uncles who saidI heard you’re a marine systems engineer, you got any insight on deep sea fishing…
“Uh-oh,” I said as Akoni came closer,thatsmile on his face.
Exactly three steps from my mother he swept low in a dramatic bow, and holding the pose over his knee, muscles taunt and bronzed skin on gorgeous display, shining damp in the sunlight, his perfect sculpted body like a strange statue, he said, “You summoned me, Roxanne?”
Mom had the good taste to be flustered and blush in mortification.
Akoni straightened, pulling himself up vertebrae by vertebrae, his expression the old, wise sea-serpent.
He wassogetting some special treatment later. And he knew it.
But Mom recovered (because of course she did) and said, “Helena says you can fix anything.”
“If it’s mechanical.” Akoni said. “Auryn fixes bodies. Your daughter fixes plumbing. Keon measures things.”
Off by my uncle, Keon extended one arm and flipped Akoni a distant bird.
