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Mom told Akoni, “My toaster oven has been on the fritz. Would you mind?”
“Mom hates making toast in the oven,” Becka said dryly. “And God help us all if she doesn’t have toast.”
This was true.
“Well, your God isn’t here, but I am.” Akoni headed towards the kitchen.
“Wow,” Becka told me, trying not to laugh. “Holy shit, Helena. Holeeee shit.”
“You know, I’m pretty sure he’s never seen a toaster, an oven, or a toaster oven,” I told her. “Want to go watch my cabana boy do some housework?”
“Hell yes.” She slid after Akoni.
Akoni, phone out, had already located the toaster oven.
“What are you doing, serpent?” I asked him.
“Granting all your mother’s wishes, and yours by extension, my love,” Akoni said, not looking up from his phone. “Why did you bring an audience?”
“My sisters are here for the show, my mother wants to make sure you don’t burn down her house.”
“Shall I take my trunks off to make the ogling easier?” Akoni glanced over his shoulder at us.
“Can I put you in an apron?” I asked mischievously.
“Since when did you prefer looking at my ass over my cock?”
My mother choked. My sisters about died.
“Forgot you’re kind of an idiot with social graces.”
Akoni gave me a sly grin. “Auryn and Keon would be horrified. They are so prim and proper. Now I must read on what a toaster oven is. It looks primitive enough.”
“Says the guy from a postage stamp,” Becka muttered.
“Says the woman unable to repair her own toaster oven.”
“Ouch, police? I’d like to report a murder,” I said.
Becka flipped me the finger. “Have you even seen an oven?”
Akoni looked back at the oven. “That’s an oven, yes?”
“Yep.”
“Then I have seen one. Just now. What isthat?” He pointed at the microwave.
“Microwave.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Ah. Yes. I have read about those.”
Akoni finished contemplating whatever guides he’d found on toaster ovens and within moments had the oven partially dismantled and was finagling wires and elements.
Emily looked out the window at a particular noise. “Yup. First kid barf before three. Pay up, Becka.”
“Goddamnit.” Becka pulled out her phone to send her the bounty.
“Wasn’t one of yours, though.”
