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“Small favors.”
“I’ll take double or nothing one of hers goes in the next forty minutes,” I said.
“Fuck no.” Emily laughed.
“Once one starts puking, they’re like dominos,” Becka said morosely.
“Just you wait.” Emily jabbed a finger at me. “And with three men servicing—”
Mom coughed.
“Actually, we have decided that Keon should be the biological father of our offspring,” Akoni commented while he fiddled with the internals of the toaster.
“We have not decided anything of the sort and could younot!” I squeaked.
“But wehavediscussed this. I thought h—Americanswere very preoccupied with such things and your family would naturally be curious about which of us was the biological father.”
“Yeah, not really,” Becka said while Emily snickered.
“Not in this house,” Mom told Akoni. “But if you’re not good to her or the kids, I will end you.”
She said it with her sweetest southern lilt.
Akoni paused in what he was doing, looked at Mom, then at me, then back at Mom. “Yes, ma’am.”
“He’s so polite,” Mom told me while my sisters cackled.
I needed a stronger drink. “What aboutyou, Emily? Dating anyone?”
“Nope, just sleeping around. I’d tell you you should try it, but…” she smirked.
Becka howled with laughter.
“Not going to work, dear,” Mom said, patting me on the shoulder. “Your redirection skills leave something to be desired.”
Akoni put the toaster back together, flipped it over, plugged it in, and turned it on. The heating element started to turn orange. He flicked it off, unplugged it, put it back where he’d found it. He picked up his tea and sauntered back outside.
“Oh. My. God,” Emily said. “Is hereal.”
I fanned myself with a hand. “Very.”
“I can’t even right now,” Emily said. “I’m not sure if I should ask if he’s got a brother, or be likenope.”
“He doesn’t, so you’re safe either way. He’s a total asshole, but he is, as you’ve noticed, the most honest person you’ll ever meet. If you want to know if your ass looks fat, don’t ask Akoni.”
Emily looked at my ass. “You ask him?”
“He likes a little jiggle.”
“I do!” Akoni shouted from outside as he kept sauntering. He held up one hand and made a grabbing motion.
Mom rolled her eyes and walked out after him.
“Fine for a Saturday night, weird for a lifetime. Too much male to deal with,” Becka said.
“Can’t tell if you’re being salty or not, sis.”
Becka twisted her lips. “Damn right I’m salty. You remember why we didn’t like Auryn? I don’t like those two for the same reason. Something’s off about them. Akoni leans into it, the other two are faking it.”
