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“Itwasthe grimoire. Unencrypted, unzipped, and stored as regular files in the portal’s containment vessel.”
Keon shook his head. “I can accept the idea that a grimoire is something like an AI. But how does an AIattackme the first time you and I went through the portal? And how did it getAurynto revert to dragon form?Auryn, Helena. How did it doanythingto anyone, much lessAuryn?”
I… I couldn’t answer that. The grimoire’s contents weren’t memories, and didn’t include the grimoire’s own memories/impressions/experiences in the portal.
“Helena,” Keon said in the hushed quiet, “how do youknowit wasn’t the Usurper Queen herself?”
“There’sone point of history that I’ve never understood,” Keon went on, “and that the history isveryclear that the Usurper Queen didn’t die when her first consort was killed. That was the plan: kill one of her consorts, solve the problem. Didn’t happen. History says that she was finally, directly killed, with her last surviving consort. But that happened on the other side of the world. I’m guessing the version of events you were told by the ‘grimoire’ was she teleported here, hid the grimoire in K’Dol, and teleported back?”
“Yes,” I said quietly.
“Why? ShehatedLemuria. Shelovedhumanity. She’d already survived the loss of three consortsand her children. Why wouldn’t she just hide herself in the portal and wait? Time doesn’t exist in the firmament, does it? It’s the space between heartbeats. Why choose to die when there was another option?”
My brain dug up some dusty-feeling fact. Like something I’d read long ago. “Because even a Chaos dragon can’t survive the death of all their consorts.”
“Is she telling you that?” Keon asked. Akoni had his arms crossed so tightly his fingers dug impressions into his upper arms, and Auryn had assumed his Mildly Concerned, Intently Listening Professional Face.
A growing panic started scratching around inside my chest. “No one is telling me anything. There isn’t a voice in my head. It’s things I know. That’s how the grimoire works when you forge it into yourself. The knowledge is integrated into your own brain and becomesyourknowledge.”
“So how didknowledgeaffectAuryn?”
My brain did not contain that knowledge in a ready-to-eat formula. “I don’t know! But I also know I don’t have anymemoriesof hanging out in the portal for thousands of years watching the traffic!”
“You’ve been asleep while that thing rewires your brain!” Akoni’s voice got rough and cracked.
“No!I’m stillme!”
“How do you know? How thehelldo you know, Helena? And donotsayI just know.”
I looked to Keon or Auryn for some kind of help, but nothing there. Were they right? Did I get fuckingsuckered?
“I can’t believe you did this.” Akoni’s anger drained out of his voice and was replaced with the worst kind of disappointment. “I can’t believe you did this without consulting us.”
Keon sighed and dropped his hands to his side. Auryn shifted and sort of nodded with Akoni.
“It was just the grimoire,” I said quietly.
Akoni moved to snap something, Auryn stopped him. Quietly, my Distant Star said, in the worst sort of resigned way, “It’s done now.”
Akoni glared at Auryn. “And if Lemuria finds out—if theWyrmsfind out—there’s nothing we can do to protect her! She forged whatever thatthingwas into herself!”
“Grimoire,” I whispered, but they ignored me.
“Her soul is still her soul. Even Chaos dragons can’t manipulate souls. They could only sunder tethers. My tethers to her are still very much as they were.”
“It’s not her soul I’m worried about,” Akoni said.
“Can we at least agree itmighthave been the grimoire?” I asked quietly. “Because grimoires are—“
Keon spoke before Akoni tore out clumps of hair. “Right now, Helena, everything you think you know is suspect.”
My heart shattered. “I’mnotthe Usurper Queen!”
Akoni said to the others, voice low, “We can’t tell this version of events toanyone. We need a lie.”
“You want to lie to the Wyrms?” Auryn muttered.
“You want to tell them thetruth?”
