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It’s an instant turn-on.
A smile breaks across my face, and Ivan nudges me. “That’s the goofiest smile ever. You look like an idiot.”
I chuckle and ignore him, walking over to Shirley ahead of him. Shirley turns to me and looks me up and down.
“Evening, Don Sorvino. Francesco.” I nod to the two men and then give a slight bow to their spouses. “Ladies, you look beautiful.”
I turn to Shirley. “No wonder the jaws around here are dropping to the floor.”
Shirley rolls her eyes and shifts her weight slightly. I offer her my arm. “I’ll hold you up.”
Shirley shakes her head with a small smile and loops her arm through mine. I can tell Alessandro and Frankie don’t like it, but they don’t say anything as Ivan walks over. Everyone greets each other, and the ladies drift to one side to start chatting. Not Shirley, though, she stays on my arm.
Several people come to the group to smooth-talk Ivan or me. Same for Alessandro and Frankie.
The music starts, and several couples start dancing as drinks are brought to us. It’s a round of whiskeys and a fine one by all accounts. The women take champagne, except Shirley, who takes a whiskey. She’s clearly trying to prove a point.
Ivan and Alessandro start discussing a new business venture, and I glance around. I hate talking about work at a party, so I lean to whisper in Shirley’s ear. “Want to go dance?”
Shirley nods and sets her glass down. “Why not.”
I smile and set my glass down, excusing us from the group and sweeping Shirley into the center of the room. We start to dance, my hand on her waist and the other holding her hand. It’s old. It’s traditional. But I think it’s romantic, and the way she’s looking at me, she might consider it romantic too.
We dance in silence for two songs, break for a quick drink and then return to the dance floor. At this point, I study her face and ask, “I don’t understand something. Why did you forgive me?”
A strange expression quickly crosses her face, something too fast for me to pinpoint but definitely a reaction to what I said.
She looks away from me and takes a deep breath before looking back at me. “I’m not a teenager anymore, Evgenii. The things I’ve done and the things I’ve seen. The people I’ve gotten rid of, both in person and not, have shaped me and changed how I see things. I grew up and realized that what you did was just business. It’s a hazard of the occupation we’ve chosen. Business is business, and I can’t hold that against you because you just did what you had to.”
I mull over her words. Although they weren’t said harshly, I feel scolded for some odd reason. Like a knife has been plunged into my chest to remind me, I betrayed her so badly that she doesn’t feel anything at all.
We dance again in silence until it becomes unbearable for me. I don’t understand how she isn’t bothered by it.
“You know, toward the end, it wasn’t all business.” My voice is trembling slightly, and I take a breath to calm myself. I’ve never had a shaky voice, not even with a gun to my head. Something about Shirley sets me off.
Shirley turns her head away from me, but I can see her eyes are hard with anger.
“Shirley, in the end, I didn’t want to hurt you. I fell for you hard, and I wish I could go back and change it.”
“Don’t try to make me feel better,” she snaps at me, quietly enough that no one notices but that I hear her tone. “I was naive and young, and I paid for my decisions. You don’t have to pretend it was anything other than it was. Fishing for information.”
Anger boils inside of me. I know I was a dick, but I’m baring my heart here. I’m being vulnerable, and isn’t that what all women want? It raises my suspicions. If she holds so much resentment toward me, why is she dancing with me? Why did she come home with me and let me fuck her brains out? Does she really think that we mean nothing at all? That we meant nothing to me?
The song finishes, and we stop dancing, our hands falling to our sides. The next song starts, but we don’t resume dancing. We just stand in the center of the dance floor, looking deep into each other’s eyes. I lean forward slightly, thinking maybe a kiss could ignite any sort of passion within her, but she turns her head slightly, and I know it’s unwelcome.
I nod and clear my throat.
“Let me get you back to Alessandro,” she loops her arm through mine reluctantly, and I escort her back to our group. Ivan and Tori are dancing, and Frankie and Amelia are seated at a table nearby. When I stop by Alessandro, I drop her arm and nod. “Please excuse me. I just need to step out for a moment.”
I walk toward the sign that indicates where the bathrooms are. A few guys are there, and I take the first stall. I put the toilet seat down and sit on top of it. I just want a break. I need to get Shirley out of my head. She’s made it clear there’s nothing left between us. Nothing that means anything.
But there’s a raging, fiery piece of me that is demanding I fight for her. That I show her that I really did fall for her and that she and I could be something. I mean, fuck, our families are joined through marriage. This is somethingno oneever thought would happen. They wouldn’t have even considered it. Yet here we are, and if Ivan and Tori can be in a loving relationship, then so can Shirley and I.
There still has to be love there. There was an intensity to her anger—a passion. I just need to remind her of her passion for me.
Chapter 9 - Shirley
As Evgenii walks toward the bathrooms, I turn and walk toward Alessandro, Katya, and Arianna, who are sitting at a table. I sit beside Arianna and smile. “Having fun, guys?”
