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“Hey, thanks, lady,” he calls as I shut the door and walk toward the front door.
I didn’t realize it was so late, and it seems no one is up. I slip out of my noisy heels and carry them as I move through the dimly lit entrance, up the stairs, and to my room.
I drop my things on the armchair in the corner of my room, make sure the door is firmly shut, along with the curtains, and flip the switch for the light.
I sigh angrily and sit on the bed, tapping my food as I think about the audacity of what Evgenii did tonight. I stand up and pace slightly before I go to the bathroom and undress as I look at myself in the mirror.
A sigh of relief escapes my lips as my bra drops off. My breasts are swollen and tender. It must almost be that time of the month. I stand there naked, leaning on the basin and staring into the mirror.
I am so angry with Evgenii for stepping into my matters and my engagements, but at the same time, a small nagging voice at the back of my head tells me… it was kind of hot. He was very protective and very defensive. Then he was so tender when we were alone outside and just wanted to get me home safely.
I roll my shoulders and start freshening up before bed. I slip into a nightie and then into bed, thinking about Evgenii as I drift off to sleep.
The violent urge to throw up jolts me awake, and I dash to the bathroom to spill my guts. Well, that’s my wake-up call.
I get washed up, showered, dried, and dressed before I head downstairs for breakfast. I can smell the pancakes from upstairs already. Everyone is there as I sit next to Helena. We pass pancake stacks and syrups and jams around.
“Here, Shirls,” Dominic says, holding a plate of lemon curd out to me. My stomach does a flip flop, and I pull a face, bile rising in my throat. I quickly pass the plate along.
“You? Not piling on the lemon curd?” Alessandro asks. “You used to eat that from the bowl with a spoon.”
“I think the food was off at that French place last night,” I comment, glad when the smell is no longer close to me.
We chit-chat as we eat, and as people finish up, they start to leave to attend to their duties.
I finish breakfast and walk toward the stairs to my office. At the base of the stairs, I feel a hand on my arm. “Shirls.”
It’s Helena who smiles at me warmly. “Please come with me.”
Curious, I follow her through the house and out into a greenhouse. I haven’t seen this before, and I smile. “This is so beautiful. It suits you, Ma.”
“Alessandro built it for me. He’s a good child. You all are good children. Come sit with me.”
I feel slightly panicked, as though I’ve done something wrong and been caught out. We sit together, facing each other, and Helena looks into my eyes. “Are your breasts feeling swollen? Heavy? Tender? Are your hips maybe sore? A little food aversion to things you normally love?”
I look at her, confused. “How… I… I mean, yes, some things are making me feel sick. I guess the food here is richer than on the West Coast, and I’m pretty sure it’s almost time for my period.” I try to work out my cycle as she speaks to me.
“Well, there are two options here that I recognize. Either you have a bug and need to go to a doctor, or you’re pregnant and still need to go to a doctor.”
I stare at her. I can feel the color draining from my face. “Pregnant? Why would you think I’m pregnant?”
“I assume, as an adult, you do have sex.” Helena gives me a wry smile. “Must be a family thing. I am surprised that Dominic and Arianna aren’t parents yet, to be honest.”
An awkward silence hangs between us before she takes my hand. “Have you been seeing anyone? Maybe had sex recently? Cause I’ve only noticed your symptoms recently, so it can’t have been too long ago.”
She doesn’t know about Evgenii. She can’t.
My mind is spinning, and I think of my drunken one-night stand with my Russian ex-lover and how passionate we were. We weren’t passionate. We were drunk. I scold myself. But did we use a condom? I would have! I can’t be on birth control anymore, so I’m always careful to use a condom.
My eyes dart back and forth as panic settles in my abdomen and chest, a frantic feeling that the shit is about to hit the fan.
This CANNOT be happening.
I stand up. “I don’t think I’m pregnant,” I say hurriedly. “I think it’s the food, Ma. I don’t eat as much rich food as before.”
Helena reaches for my hands, but I step back. “And I have so much to do for Alessandro. For this new deal he wants me to manage. There’s so much paperwork, and I’m trying to find out what others are offering so we can win. You know, in fact, I’m late for a meeting with one of our business partners.”
I know I’m talking at lightning speed. Helena stands up. “Shirls, calm down.”
