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She couldn’t have done this without him. Not because he’d given her the power to do it but because he’d shown her that power was always within her.
* * *
An hour later,Skylar still hadn’t hit SEND on the email informing HR she was quitting. She wanted to talk to Kelly first. After calling her five times with no answer, she finally pushed back her chair and headed down the hall to Kelly’s cubicle, only to find her desk empty. Spinning around in a circle, she noticed all the desks around hers were vacated, as well. Frowning in confusion, she looked around for someone. Anyone.
Finally, she heard whispering coming from the break room and headed there. She peeked her head inside to find Kelly, along with all the other assistants and interns, crowded around the TV in the corner. Someone had the New York Times up on the screen. All of them were reading the text, jostling for room.
“I see you’re all reading the report about Hardy Priese,” Skylar said.
The group turned around and gaped at her.
“Um, actually, Ms. McKenzie, we already read that article,” Kelly said.
Skylar cocked her head. “So what is this, then?” She pointed to the Times cover on the screen.
“Julian Bauer just published a new surprise piece. Different than the one about Mr. Priese. And . . . well, you should read it.” An odd expression crossed Kelly’s face, a mix of awe and excitement. “Like, you shouldreallyread it.”
Skylar grew cold as Kelly and the rest of the staff hurried away, leaving her alone. Alone and facing a large-screen TV with a New York Times piece written by Julian Bauer.
She was terrified that Julian had written about her, about her past, about her sexual struggles. Terrified that he’d done what she accused him of that awful, awful night.
But that was her fear speaking. In her heart, she knew the man behind the name, behind the legend. In her heart, she knew who he truly was.
And Julian would never screw her over in that way.
So what had he written about?
Her eyes flew across the page, devouring every word as her heart raced faster and faster.
His piece was buried in the commentary section, not on page one. And it didn’t take more than a few seconds to realize that Julian’s piece wasn’t about her.
It was abouthim.
60
AN EXPOSE ON ME
By Julian Bauer
I’ve spent my professional life digging up dirt on others— partying socialites, foreign ministers, activists, pop stars, and coke-snorting royalty. I’ve dug into the illegal activities of the powerful worldwide, ripping open seedy underbellies so the public could see the truth. I’ve studied great men and women in detail and exposed their greatness to the world, too. I’ve made it my specialty to understand the psyche of these people, to get to the heart of them, and to write about them better than they could write about themselves. I’m an expert at shining a light on who these people truly are for the whole world to see.
So perhaps it’s ironic that up until recently, I’ve been a stranger to myself. I was hiding behind my fame, my reputation, and my social status. I’d created a persona for myself. A character of sorts. A legend in my own mind.
But being a legend means you’re not real.
And if you’re not real, you can’t feel pain. You can’t be hurt.
It was easy to convince myself I was fulfilled when I always had a party invitation, a full drink, and a gorgeous woman on my arm in the greatest city in the world. But I was lonely. I was empty. I was missing something.
I was not a legend.
I was a scared little boy who grew into a hollow, empty man.
A man who lost his parents as a child. Then, frightened and hollowed out by grief, lost himself. The man who forgot what it was to be real and true. The man who yearned for love despite hiding from it, resisting it, denying it for years.
But recently, I found a light. And like a moth, I was drawn to it, to her. I wanted to turn away from her, to avoid her, to forget her and move on, lurking back into the darkness where it was safe, where I could continue to believe my own lies. But she was irresistible— mysterious and smart and stunningly beautiful.
Even as I got to know her better, I continued to hold my true self back.
