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CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
I know exactly how many times I’ve cried—really cried— since I was a child.
Three. The night I found out about my family’s death. The night my best friend committed suicide. And now.
There’s a distinct ripping feeling inside my chest. Whatever chasm has opened in me will never close. I fall to my knees, wrapping my arms around Carra’s waist.
A baby.
We created a child that day at the hotel. And yes, she is right, it was an act of love. All I could have at the time. All I could give her.
She holds me. We cry together. I don’t know how we’re going to un-fuck this, but we are going to.
When the choking tears pass, I whisper, “I’m so sorry. So goddamned sorry you had to do this alone.”
Carra slides her fingers through my hair. Cups my face in her warm fingers. “Me too. It’s broken me.”
I don’t know how long we stay like this, but she finally takes my hand in hers. “Come. Meet Finn. But I think it’s too much to tell him anything right now. He’s a strong kid. He knows I’m one of his moms.” She tries to tug me to my feet. “But you and I need to figure out a lot of things. I won’t take Finn away from here if this is where he’s safest.”
When I stand up, I realize that the guards are parked at the curb. Ariel’s standing with her hands over her mouth, her eyes burning with emotion, being restrained by Max.
Max tips his chin at me, then turns her back toward the open door on the SUV.
I wipe my soaking wet face on my sleeve. “Will he be scared?”
“Definitely not of me,” she says softly. “And if you act like a human, he’ll be fine. He’s quite confident and comfortable in his own skin. He reminds me a lot of you.”
She knocks on the door and Marcus immediately opens it. His hair looks like he’s had his hand in it. He’s a few shades shy of nuclear now. Beside him is a woman who looks remarkably like Ariel.
Carra says, “This is Kieran, my fiancé. I wondered if we could come in for a minute? I wanted to introduce him to all of Ariel’s nieces and nephews.”
Marcus holds out a meaty hand as his eyes glint with cold observation. “Nice to see you’re calmer now. Welcome.”
I nod. “Thank you. And I’m sorry, I promise you I mean no harm.”
“I’m Nikki,” says Ariel’s lookalike.
My throat feels raw when I say, “Nice to meet you. I’m sorry if I scared you guys.”
The woman nods and looks at us pensively, but she smiles and touches Carra’s arm. She’s remarkably calm for a woman whose husband was just guarding the house with a sawed-off shotgun against a maniac. “Just give me a minute. I’ll gather up the herd. They’re playing some kind of game out back. I’ll have them come in. It’s almost time for them to get cleaned up for dinner anyway.”
Carra pulls away from me, dropping my hand. “I need to have a minute with Nikki. Okay?”
I nod woodenly.
Marcus motions toward the kitchen. “Get you a drink?”
“Something stiff. If you’ve got it.”
“Oh, I do,” he says with a dark chuckle.
He pours a shitload of whisky in a highball glass. Carra will have to drive after this one. He fills his own to the same level.
“The video must have been from me driving Carra to the OBGYN for her appointments. I took her a couple of times. She’s not comfortable driving. But you probably know that. And near the end of the pregnancy, the girls were busy, so I was it.”
I’m not sure which burns more. The whiskey, or the thought of this man, this stranger, having to take my fiancée to the baby doctor.
“Where were you?”
