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He wraps the jacket around me, and I swear I can hear the sound of agony every time his heart beats.

CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE

Max follows us to the secure doorway that leads to the rooftop and takes up a position next to the entrance. Only guests in the Presidential suite can have access to the patio. His men have cleared the area, and now it’s just us, climbing the stairs.

Every step we take makes my dread grow and grow until it’s a monster inside of me, tearing at my seams.

Carra’s silent, as I open the roof door for her. She won’t meet my eyes as she passes by me. The fresh air buoys my mood, but barely.

I follow her to the edge of the patio to look down through the high glass walls. The hotel has done their diligence—guarding against jumpers and anyone who might throw something or someone off.

Wind buffets around us, climbing over the walls and sweeping across the patio. Cold. Unforgiving. Chicago in spring is a fickle friend. The breeze lifts her hair, making her grab it and tuck it into the collar of the coat.

When I glance down at her feet, I feel like an ass. Carra’s in some kind of little foam flippers. I’m grumbly and irritated at myself when I say, “Damnit, woman, your feet are going to get cold.”

“I have these on because the polish needs more time to dry.”

“Your toes might fall off in the meantime.”

Leveling me with a snappy stare, she folds her arms around herself, cinching the jacket tighter, making her look even smaller and more fragile. A deep, unscathed part of me wants to comfort her, hold her. Everywhere else, I’m in too much pain.

Instead, I press my hands against the biting-cold glass. When I speak, I sound bitter, ancient, and barely recognizable. “I couldn’t talk earlier in the car. I was too fucking emotional. But there’s so much I have to say.”

I sigh heavily and the weight of the moment hangs between us. “Finn’s a beautiful child.”

She glances at me, then places her own palm against the pane of glass in front of her. “Finnisbeautiful. Smart. Sweet. Determined...” Her words trail off softly.

I can’t take my eyes from her as I wonder how this slight woman endured all she has. “I’m sorry that you had to do everything alone.”

“Me too,” she says in the softest whisper. The wind snatches her words and carries them away, and I wish I could take away the pain just the same.

When she turns to look up at me, the tears on her lashes burn me, straight to my marrow. “Ariel didn’t know this... until today. We never talked about who Finn’s father is. She didn’t ask either. Before or today. She’s been around the mafia long enough to know that secrets need to stay secrets. However, I’m sure everyone that’s here must know if they saw us outside that house.”

I reach for her. Draw her into my arms, tuck her under my chin. “You need to talk to her. She’s been a good friend to you, and I want you to keep her that way. Things are dangerous right now. No one outside this circle can know, but you should make sure she knows Finn’s life could be at risk.”

She fists my shirt and shivers. “His life will always be at risk. It’s why... I had to step away. I’ve been very, very careful.”

“It’s incredible that you’ve kept him from your father this long.” We stand together for several minutes, until I pull her with me to one of the chaise lounges. She doesn’t protest when I lift her into my lap, settling her so she’s facing me with her knees on either side of my thighs.

The wind is cold, but we’re more protected now. Still, I feel compelled to snug the coat more tightly around her. Taking her beautiful, velvet-soft face in my hands, I say, “There are things I need to tell you.”

Carra watches me cautiously. But behind her mask of strength, I know she’s as upset and afraid as I am.

I say a prayer.Let this all work,then I brush my thumbs over her cheeks and begin.

“What I’m about to tell you could get us all killed. But you and me are through with having lies and secrets between us. Only honesty and open truth now. What we are about to go through requires it. But more importantly, if we love one another, then we must fully trust one another.”

She tugs her lips between her teeth. I lean forward and press mine to hers until she unfurls hers and gently accepts me.

Fuck. It’s so good to feel her again. The air I need. The sunshine to warm the barren fields inside of me.

These moments I have to kiss her are quickly disappearing. It could all be over in days. Or even minutes, after I tell her the whole ugly, snarled truth.

For a few seconds, we just kiss. Salty, tender, stolen kisses in the middle of an apocalypse.

When I pull back, my brow hardens as my hands hold her face. “You know you were promised to me as part of a deal for money and power. But what you don’t know is why I did it.”

Eyes suddenly damp, she looks at me as if my next words will either shore her up or deliver the final blow.

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