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She never had sex with David? I was surprised, that was for sure. I thought she did all of that and had other boyfriends before. Maybe I had her pegged all wrong.
“I see. I’m not going to force it. We should just . . . get you home,” I told her.
We got back to the car, and the tension between us made things super awkward. I didn’t know what to say, and it was clear from the way Tina reacted that she was still at a loss for words, too.
We got back to her office, and when she got out, we looked at one another for a brief moment.
“I had a good night tonight,” I told her.
“I did too. I’ll see you around,” she said.
She got out, and I could sense she was pissed about what had transpired.
The truth was that I was upset, too.
I thought she wanted this. I thought this was what Tina wanted. But I guess not. I guess she thought that . . . we would take things slower than before.
As she walked away, I thought about telling her the truth about my feelings and how I felt about her, but I couldn’t. So, I held back, and I hoped that maybe, just maybe, after it was all said and done, we could discuss this like civilized people.
And maybe . . . I didn’t know. Continue this.
I half expected Tina to just stop showing up at the farm. But a week later, I saw a car pull up to the parking lot.
“I’ll be dammed,” I said.
It was Tina. After she asked for the gate to open up, she drove up, and when she got out, a slight feeling in my heart became more prominent—the flutter of anticipation and the worry that I had messed everything up.
She walked to the door, knocking, and after a second, I got up to open it. We locked eyes, and my mouth was dry as I tried to figure out what to say to her.
“I’m sorry, Tina. I was just—”
“I’m here to check on the horses.”
I nodded. “Very well.”
I followed her out, showing her the new stables. The entire time, there was an odd tension there, and when she looked at each of the horses, checking them as she went about her duties, I stood there, trying to figure out what to say.
Where does one begin with this sort of thing? How did you bridge the gap in an awkward relationship? And, well, where were we now? I stood there, and she turned to look at me as she finished.
“Good news! The horses look nice and healthy.”
“That’s good.”
She walked past me, our hands brushing. She stopped, tensing slightly as she looked at me.
As we stared at one another, the awkward atmosphere was back, and I took a deep breath. “Tina . . . if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk about what happened last week.”
I half-expected her to say no and keep things as they were.
But then she nodded. “I think we should talk about that, too.”
I felt terrible that I got so mad at her, but I thought that was what she wanted. The signs were all there, making me wonder if I had done anything wrong.
We finished with the duties, checking the last of the animals before we sat outside, neither of us saying a word. Then she took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry for acting that way, Caleb. It’s just . . . when you kissed me like that and touched me, I got reminded of back then,” she said.
“Want to talk about it?”
