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“Not yet, hopefully soon though.” I respond.
“Excited to get off the road and head home?” Flynn asks, and I can tell from his tone he thinks I would rather be at home, but I wouldn’t. I’ve been enjoying all the new places and people.
“No, not really, but we don’t have much more time on the road, and I just hope we find her before this is over.” I explain.
“Yeah, me too. So, I’m calling because I just moved into my apartment in NYC and I was chatting with my roommate and our third roommate is moving out, so we are looking for someone to fill the space. I was wondering if you would be interested?” Flynn asks, and I’m caught off guard. He only met me one time, and he wants me to be his roommate?
“I would definitely be interested. I haven’t found a place to live yet, and it has been stressing me out.” It is impossible to find an apartment online. Everything either seems too good to be true or way too expensive.
“Great, I’ll text you all the details and you can let me know if you want to sign.”
I thank him, and we go on to talk about how his life is going. By the end of the call, I’m tempted to sign the apartment contract just because I’ll have a guaranteed good roommate and from the way he speaks about the other roommate it sounds like I would have two good roommates, which is hard to come by.
After we say goodbye, Flynn sends the apartment details over via text. It is on the high end of my budget, but it is doable, so I head over to Dad’s room to talk about it. I show Dad the pictures, but he seemed sold on signing as soon as I tell him Flynn will be my roommate. I text Flynn to let him know I want the room and he asks for my email, so the landlord can send the contract.
By the end of the day, I have an apartment in NYC and my moving to the city is finally starting to feel like real life. I should be excited, but instead it all feels bittersweet. My move to New York getting closer means leaving home, leaving Dad, leaving Lilli, leaving Sunny, and leaving the life Mama had thought I would live. It means the end of summer is coming and time is running out for me to sort out the Will situation. Anxiety over all of it begins to rise up within me, but I just do what I have been doing since Mama died with all the feelings I can’t handle and push it aside.
Chapter 24
It is funny how one person can affect the way time moves for you. At the beginning of this trip, the long hours in the car dragged on as I entertained myself, but as the weeks have gone on, I have been wishing I could slow them down just so I could spend more time with Will. Now, with only one more week scheduled on our trip, it feels like time is racing to our goodbye.
Dad rented a beach house in a beach town for the weekend. I’m not sure if he just wants to go fishing or if he is trying to distract us from the fact that the end of this trip is only a couple of weeks away and we still haven’t found Susan. Either way, after miles and miles of dusty road and little to look at, I’m happy to spend a weekend relaxing on the beach.
The house and ocean are beautiful, but I’m most excited about the kitchen. I haven’t had a home cooked meal in weeks and Mama’s lasagna recipe is calling my name, so after a quick run to the grocery store to grab ingredients, I don an apron and get to work. I’m stirring the sauce on the stove when Will walks in his board shorts, still wet from surfing. I give myself a moment to appreciate his bare chest before turning back to my stirring so his ego doesn’t get any bigger.
“You are making dinner?” he asks, and he has a peculiar look on his face as his eyes rove over my body.
“Yes. What is that face for?” I ask, waving my spatula at his strange expression.
“You look hot in an apron.” Will wraps me in a hug from behind, surprising me.
“What?” I laugh, not understanding. This apron isn’t even a cutesy one, just a plain red apron that was in one of the kitchen drawers.
“I’m not sure what to make of it either, but I find you in an apron being all domestic to be very attractive.” Will says as he places a kiss into my hair and steps away. His words fill me with a giddy feeling that I never expected to feel when a man told me he liked seeing me be domestic, but I know it is because it is Will saying it that I care.
“An apron? And here I was going to all the effort of putting cute outfits together when all I needed to impress you was to throw on an apron.” I tease, gesturing at the shapeless garment.
“You’ve been trying to impress me?” Will asks, and he sounds surprised. I thought it would have been obvious to him that I’ve been trying to get him to see me, the real me, and be impressed since day one.
“Yes.” I admit shyly as I look down to hide the heat in my face.
“Well, you’ve definitely left an impression on me.” He says softly, and he tilts my chin back up with a finger to press a soft kiss to my lips. It is in the moment that he pulls away that I know I’m in trouble. Staring into his green eyes, soft as they are now, I know my feelings for Will are deeper than the summer fling we agreed on, but for this moment I don’t label that feeling and enjoy the peace I find with him. When I’m with Will, I feel like myself, not the person I was before Mama dies, but the person I’m supposed to be.
I resume cooking while Will takes a shower, distracting myself from my own feelings with the recipe that I know so well I could make it blindfolded. Will finishes his shower and joins me, writing on his laptop at the bar as I place the lasagna in the oven. I set the table as it cooks and chop up a salad and slice some French bread for sides.
I grab my dad from his room after pulling the lasagna out of the oven and the three of us sit at the table for dinner. This is Dad’s favorite meal, so I’m not surprised when he eats almost a third of the pan by himself, but I have to stifle a laugh when I realize that Will has too.
“We should always stay in a place with a kitchen.” Will says as he leans back in his chair after finishing.
“So, I can be your personal chef?” I ask, eyebrows raised. He has to know I would never go for that.
“Obviously.” He gestures at the empty lasagna pan.
“Well, I’m glad I could impress a picky New Yorker like you.” I’m not surprised he liked it. Mama’s lasagna recipe was legendary.
“I’m more than impressed. I might have to keep you in New York with me.” Will says and though I know he is only joking, I can’t help the way my heart soars with happiness at that. I have to remind myself that he is talking about keeping my cooking, not keeping me.
My dad gives me a curious look at Will’s comment, and I give him a look that lets him know we will talk about it later. I don’t want to talk about it, though. I don’t want to explain that I’m too afraid to tell Will that I will be in New York with him because I’m afraid he still won’t choose to be with me and even if he does choose me, I will always wonder if it was just because I was convenient.
