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Dismay punched Lily in the stomach. She knew Cullen was already suffering. There was no use making him feel worse. George was safe and sound. Cullen was beyond sorry. She should’ve never asked Cullen to pick up the boy in the first place. It was her job. She should’ve just asked Sydney if she could leave the girls with her and gotten him herself. But she would never say that to Cullen.
She weighed her words. “I tried to call you. April said she tried to call you, too.”
He cleared his throat. “I turned off the ringer when I was working in the emergency room and I forgot to turn it back on. I hate thinking about him sitting there waiting for me. I came straight over here to apologize to him—and you—after I learned you’d picked him up.”
That was when Lily realized exactly how distraught he was over this.
She reached out and put her hand on his arm. “Hey, it’s okay—”
He pulled away. “It’s not okay. There’s no excuse for it. I need to apologize to him before I go back to the hospital.”
“Cullen, really, it’s okay. Everything is fine.”
“No, it’s not. I promised I’d pick him up. I forgot. What kind of an idiot forgets a kid?”
“Come take a walk with me,” she said to Cullen. “Do you mind if I step away for a moment, Syd?”
“Not a problem,” her friend said.
They were about to take a dinner break anyway. Lily had planned on asking Cullen to join them, but now she wasn’t sure it was a good idea. “Please tell the girls and George I’ll be right back.”
It was becoming a familiar trek, this walk to the parking lot with Cullen.
She held the silence until they’d cleared the exit.
It was cold outside, and she pulled the collar of her jacket up around her neck. She should’ve thought to grab her hat.
“You said there was an emergency. You aren’t used to picking up a child. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“You don’t get it. I screwed up.”
He braced one hand against the building’s wall and raked the other through his hair. He looked like a god, standing there in the golden late-afternoon light. A tortured, brooding god. She wanted to put her arms around him until he believed everything would be okay.
“So, let me get this straight. You’re calling yourself a screwup because you forgot to pick him up?”
Cullen gave a quick one-shoulder shrug.
“So, if you’re a screwup for not picking him up, what does running out of gas make me?”
He glared at her.
“So, you’re just going to have to forgive yourself.” She closed the distance between them. “All parents slip up now and then. I’ll bet ninety percent of the parents of the kids I’ve taught over the years have been late or even forgotten to pick up their child at least once.”
She put her hand on his arm as a show of solidarity, but he shrugged it off.
“I’m not George’s parent and I think this proves how unfit I am to care for the kids. They deserve so much better.”
“Is this discussion about what happened with George or is it because you regret kissing me this morning?”
He couldn’t have looked more pain-stricken if she’d slapped him. “I don’t regret kissing you, but I do think it’s best that we keep our relationship platonic. It’s just easier that way.”
Now she was the one who felt as if she’d been slapped. “Okay. That’s fine.”
It wasn’t fine, but what else was she supposed to say?
“I’d better go back inside.” She turned around and started walking away from him. Away from every ridiculous fantasy about him turning out different from the guy her friends had warned her he was.
“Lily,” he said.
She hated herself for the way her heart squeezed when he said her name. She stopped, but she didn’t turn around.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I really am.”
So was she. She was nearly sick with regret that Sydney, Pepper and A.J. had been right about him. He wasn’t the type for anything long-term. Or maybe she simply wasn’t his type.
“I need to tell you something before you go.”
She turned around, careful to keep her face neutral.
