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“Why?”
It was a simple question. An innocent one. Alek’s tone held nothing but a safe amount of curiosity. Yet still, that question would be impossible to answer. Theia didn’t discuss anything with me. Not a single thing. She especially didn’t tell me about her work—about the veil. She told me I would learn more about it when it was absolutely necessary. Aside from protecting it, I didn’t actually know what Theia did all day.
“There are more important people to discuss those things with, I suppose,” I admitted. It wasn’t entirely a lie.
But I wasn’t in the mood for telling Alek my mother would lock me in a cage forever if she could get away with it. She would chain me up like a dog, only using me for the veil if it ever became necessary.
There was no use in building a relationship with someone who was born to die.
“Okay then,” Alek said after a few moments. “We’ll dodge questions about your family. What about you?”
I leaned back on the white couch and kicked my feet onto the coffee table. “What about me?”
“What do you do? What are your interests? Hobbies?”
“These really seem like first-date type of questions,” I deflected.
“Yes, and considering the fact that he thinks we’re dating, we need to get our stories straight. Answer the questions.”
My mouth went dry. “There’s not much to answer. I graduated college this year, but I’ll never use the degree. I used to paint, but not so much anymore. I read a lot. I don’t have many interests, and I don’t have many hobbies.”
Something flashed across Alek’s face, but it was quickly covered by his darkened features. “Your mother is that strict?”
I wanted to trust Alek. I wanted to tell him what had really been going on.
But he wouldn’t care. Nobody would. If they knew the truth, if they knew why Theia had kept me hidden all this time, they would understand. They would do the same.
I put a smile on my face, hopefully well enough that he wouldn’t notice the pain underneath. “Let’s just say she wouldn’t be happy if she knew you were here right now.”
Alek rested his chin on his hand. “You’ve never dated?”
“Excuse me?”
“You’ve never dated before? Your mother has never let you?”
“No,” I answered flatly. “She hasn’t. Not like I would be interested in it anyway.”
He stared at me, unblinking.
“What?” I asked.
He didn’t break eye contact as he said, “It’s a bummer that you’ve spent so many years like this. There’s so much life to live, Lyra. You’re missing so many milestones.”
I looked away, trying not to feel his words, trying not to feel the nasty truth that hid underneath them.
I had been avoiding those words my entire life. I had been avoiding those thoughts.
When my sixteenth birthday came around, I cried. I cried every single day for weeks. Because I wanted to live back then. I held onto so much hope. I wanted a car. I wanted to drive. I wanted to go out and have fun with friends I didn’t have.
But the next year came and went.
And the next.
And my life never changed. My hope, however, changed drastically. It took me a long time to get over those possibilities. I had grieved an entire life—the life that could have been.
But that was no use,I told myself. A waste of tears and nothing more.
When I wasn’t paying attention, Alek moved from his spot on the edge of the couch to come sit right next to me, putting only an inch or two between us.
