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Her bare foot against my palms was gratifying. Under her spell, I lost track of my thoughts momentarily. I watched as she found comfort in a new position, one that supported her leg that rested on mine. I massaged the middle of her foot before moving upward.
“We go wherever our love leads us. There’s no roadmap for us, Ever, and I’m not looking for one. I’m committed to this rollercoaster, no matter where it takes us. I’m locked in and I’m not getting off. Postpartum ain’t got shit on this love I’ve got for you. When we beat this, it’s back to living and enjoying life together. Back to spending this fucking paper. Back to blowing your back out. Back to living out every dream you’ve ever had. Back to being the best fucking mother you can be. Back to us. Back to Ever and Luca. Cause, half of me is missing right now. I’m not whole. I won’t be until you shake back.”
“I’ve taken so many parts of you through this all. I owe you.”
“You don’t owe me a thing, love. I just want you better. Lending pieces of me to help you get there is nothing. I’d do it a hundred times over. Just get better and we’re back to it. For now, get some rest because you look like you could use it.”
“I’m so tired all the time,” she admitted, yawning in the process.
“You’re exhausted, mentally. This week is your time to really rest. I know it’s hard back home. Although you’re asleep, having the children running wild through the house–.”
“Keeps my mind going, even when my eyes are closed and I’m resting.”
“I know.”
I released her foot from my grasp and stood to my feet.
“Come on. Let me get you to bed. We have a few hours.”
“You coming to bed with me?” She asked.
“I’m not sleepy, baby.”
Her big, glossy eyes warmed every inch of me. I’d obviously disappointed her with my statement.
“Fix our face, pretty. I’m not leaving your side. Not tonight, not ever.”
“Seriously? You’ll stay back there with me.”
“Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be. Take my hand.”
When I extend my arm, she placed her hand inside of mine and followed me through the aisle until we reached the door that separated the bedroom from the rest of the plane. I waited until Ever was completely inside and on the bed before closing the door behind us.
“Here, I got it.”
Leaning down, I removed her other shoe.
“Can I undress?” She asked, looking up at me. I loved when she did that shit.
“If you’re trying to give that pussy up, yeah. If you’re just trying to rest, then I suggest you keep that shit on.”
“What about both? I always get the best sleep af—.”
“Say less.”
Without hesitation, I unclothed Ever and allowed her to climb in bed. Once she settled, I removed every article of clothing that I’d chosen for travel. My dick stretched after being restricted for far too long. It was happy to be free and happy to get reacquainted with its very best friend.
Ever glared from the bed. The smile on her face was comical. Baby was deprived. I could smell her magnificent arousal as I climbed in bed next, hovering over her. Her pussy would get the attention it deserved, but for now, I wanted to feast on her pebbled nipples and hope she didn’t drown me in breastmilk.
TWELVE
The Belize morningsun had kissed my face a thousand times or at least that’s how it felt. Truthfully, it had only been fourteen times which was a lot more times than we’d planned. But, after seven days, I wasn’t ready to return to reality. Here, it was paradise.
The chains that had been locked around my brain since having Lucas were broken by day four and freedom found me. I could breathe again. I could feel, again. I could see again and the first face I saw when the blinders were removed was Lucas’. And, my, was it a beautiful sight.
From the moment we touched down in Belize he’d been careful with my heart and my healing. He gave me the space I required and welcomed me into his space whenever I didn’t need my own, anymore. He cooked each morning for me, bringing me breakfast in bed until I was ready to join him at the table. He explored the island alone until I was ready to explore it with him. He didn’t force my hand on any matter, giving me exactly what I needed but only when I was ready.
I slowly, but surely came out of the zombie-like state that I’d been stuck in for weeks and weeks on end. Everything was so much clearer and the load that sat on top of my chest began to shrink. The guilt of Dylan’s death was no longer weighing me down. The hardships of my life before Luca was no longer replaying in the back of my head. The guilt of Dewayne’s death didn’t feel so heavy anymore.
