Page 24 of Chorus of Ashes


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“Cormac is my younger brother,” Terra continued when Rian didn’t say anything else. At the very least, she might be able to explain the current dynamics of her family and why she’d finally given up on asking questions about Rian’s supposed crime. “He’s the darling of the family, always smiling, always making everyone laugh. He even managed to make Eoghan cry with laughter at times, and I swear that was what made him happiest. Cormac was always trying to get Eoghan to come play with him, to spend time together but, as they grew older, Eoghan took his duties more seriously. Then he met Marias and, well, Cormac didn’t get much of his attention anymore.”

“Marias is…?” Rian asked the question so casually, just out of curiosity, really, and Terra’s heart sank. She’d been right to push for more evidence in his case, and she’d push harder once she returned to her realm.

“Eoghan’s wife,” Terra said, her voice soft, acknowledging the unspoken. A ripple of emotion crossed Rian’s face, and he threw back the rest of his wine. Terra wasn’t sure what to say after that revelation, so she just sipped her wine and waited.

“Did you really look for evidence to help me?” The words sounded like an icicle shattering on the pavement.

“I did.” Terra held his eyes, needing him to see the truth in hers. “There was something in your eyes, right before they dragged you away… I just… I couldn’t let it go. I asked to have the case reopened, and the high council refused me. Then I started questioning people on my own, as things didn’t add up. When my family found out, Eoghan was furious. He’d already had a resolution that fit, you see? He didn’t want any other open-ended possibilities being introduced. He and Marias were working on their relationship and were getting to a better place. And Cormac? He might have been even more angry than Eoghan.” Terra shook her head at the memory of the last time she’d spoken to Cormac. “It was brutal. He’s always looked up to Eoghan, you see? The more I hurt him by keeping the investigation open, the angrier Cormac became with me. We … we haven’t spoken since.”

“You what?” Rian leaned forward, shock on his face. “You’ve stopped speaking with your family?”

Terra shrugged and looked down at her empty mug. She held the glass out to Rian who automatically refilled it for her, his face a mask.

“I would say they’ve stopped speaking with me, I guess.” Terra didn’t want to bring up all of the times she’d tried to work on their relationship and had been met with indifference. The ranks had closed, and she was left standing outside. Which was fine, really, as she’d always been a bit more of a loner. Comfortable in the woods and with her animals … away from having to manage other people’s emotions. It made her a good leader, as she wasn’t too deeply entwined with any drama among her people, but it could be lonely at times as well.

“How were you chosen? To lead?” Rian’s swift change of topic gave Terra pause, and she had to take a deep breath while she moved through the emotions of thinking about her family and the time she’d lost with them.

“Oh, well, it was the mice, really.” Terra chuckled at Rian’s confused expression. Shifting, she stretched her legs in front of her and smoothed the gold fabric over her thighs. “I’ve always been able to communicate with things of the earth. Creatures, plants, streams… I feel their energy. I was young, maybe four or five? And I was holding a concert in my garden with several mice in attendance. All lined up in a row, just the way that I wanted them.” Terra smiled briefly at the thought of her younger self, enjoying a sunny afternoon with her animal friends. “One of the royals was passing by at the time and took notice. Things moved quickly after that.”

“Were you allowed to stay with your family?” Rian asked, drawing Terra’s attention back to him.

“Oh, no. Of course not.” Terra laughed and smoothed her fingers over her silky skirt. “There was too much training for me to do to be living with my family. I needed to learn all aspects of the Earth Fae in order to lead.”

“And your parents … were fine with this? Couldn’t they find another leader or maybe one of the royal bloodline?”

“Oh, we are of the royal bloodline. Just not direct in line to lead.” Terra shrugged. “You know the Fae are a matriarchal society, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be of the same bloodline. They realized long ago that type of thinking limits the leadership. Not everyone is born to lead.”

“But you were.” Rian shifted, leaning closer, and Terra found herself doing the same, drawn to him.

“It seems so,” Terra said, a small smile on her face. “Mostly, I enjoy it. I feel like I’ve been able to be a fair leader to our people while still respecting the Earth’s needs. It’s a fine line to balance.”

“If you’re the leader, why couldn’t you just overturn my exile?” Rian asked. Terra searched his eyes, but found no accusation there, only curiosity.

“In some areas, I am overruled by the Danula Royals. As you well know, they are the supreme rulers of the Elemental Fae, and they lead the High Council. Their decision to do so is because they don’t wish to have one person making judgments in cases, which I generally agree with. Except when they get it wrong. Like in your case.”

“And your future? What do you see for it?” Terra tried to keep up with his lightning swift changes of topic. It was as though he was spearing small bits of knowledge from her brain and moving on to the next, as if he needed to gather as much information about her as he could. Like they wouldn’t have time for such conversations again. And maybe they wouldn’t. Terra glanced up at where the trees rustled in the wind from the sea. Was this their moment? Would the Fates give her no more before the events that were set in motion by Rian culminated?

If so, then maybe she needed to act.

“My future?” Terra leaned forward, noticing that Rian subconsciously did the same. “While I’ll never be able to live in the confines of the village, that doesn’t mean that I don’t like people or want to live a life alone. I want a family. A big one, at that. I want happy children that clamber over each other and run wild in the woods with me. I want a partner to curl up with at night and to make love with beneath the stars. I hope to continue to lead our people, fairly and with a strong hand, while not sacrificing my hopes for finding love and creating a joyful family.”

“Children?” Rian said the word as though it was foreign to him, rolling the sound around on his tongue, and Terra’s breath caught. Would the thought of having a family dissuade him from looking at her in a loving light?

“Yes, children. I … oh, Rian. There’s just something inside me that dearly loves to nurture. I enjoy caring for our Earth, for our wildlife, and being able to be a steady guiding hand for our people. But I’m still missing something. I know that I’m meant to be a mother and that I’ll be a good one at that.”

“You would be.” Rian surprised her by saying. His finger tapped an absentminded rhythm against his wine cup. “I don’t know ifIwould be a good father. But I desperately want children as well.” Rian said the last bit as though the knowledge surprised him, a revelation that had just appeared to him and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

“Our futures are not yet determined,” Terra said, choosing her words carefully. Above all else, she could hear the hints of longing hovering over the underlying rage in his voice. Becoming a father was another thing that exile had taken from Rian. “The Fates have their way of directing us, don’t they?”

“Is that what you think then? That Fate leads us, and we’ll end up where they want us to go?”

“I think the world would be a very neat and tidy place if the Fates had total control.” Terra smiled softly at Rian. “Alas, their power only extends so far. We still choose our path, don’t we?”

“In some cases.” Rian glowered at her, and Terra sighed. Putting her wine glass aside, she leaned over and took Rian’s free hand, a jolt of pleasure racing through her when their skin connected.

“You’re right, Rian. You’ve been wronged, and I’m sorry for that. Truly. Even if I can’t get the exile overturned, will you let bitterness rule your life? Or will you seek out your own happiness? You still have your freedom. Your magick lies within you. It is more than many Fae would be left with. Is there any chance you can create a life you love within your circumstances?”

“I don’t know,” Rian surprised her by answering. His hand tightened around hers. “I haven’t tried. I’ve been so focused on seeking my revenge that all I can see is that path. It’s given me purpose.”

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