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Rook
This should have been a story about the youngest sibling being rescued and returned to his family, grateful, happy, and overcome with gratitude to be safe and home again.
What a crock of shit that is.
That isn’t how my story goes, I’m not grateful and I sure as fuck am not thankful. I lived in fucking fear for eight months!
Eight fucking months, while my family lived happily, fucked, pro created and carried on like I didn’t exist. They expect me to bow to them because they found me, they can all fuck off.
Nah, this isn’t some story with a happy fucking ending.
This is the story of how they all came to beRuined By The Rook, especiallyher.
Rook
Months have passed and still I sit here silently in my room like every other day. Bishop and the others have forced me to meet with the therapist that Ally and Knight meet with weekly, even Anya speaks with Opal. But not me. I sit there for an hour twice a week and say nothing. Opal never comments, just says, ‘I’ll listen whenever you are ready.’. It pisses me off that she never looks bored, never fidgets or looks around the room aimlessly, she just sits there with a smile and fucking waits!
Like right now, she just sits with her pad and pen and smiles encouragingly at me. I don’t want to fucking talk. I relive everything that happened each night. I don’t sleep. If I do, it’s power naps and reading. I never thought I wouldeverwillingly pick up a book and want to read but now, it’s all I do. Fiction, non-fiction, it doesn’t matter to me as long as I get lost in the story and stay out of my own head.
“I want to try something different today.” I dart my gaze over her head to peek at the clock and fight the urge to roll my eyes. It’s only been ten minutes since I came in here. “I know that Bishop and Kiara got married, so did your sister and Vincent. Carlina and Kiara are both pregnant. Allison and King are being wed this weekend. Your twin has had children of his own, and is engaged. Gage is also engaged. How do you feel about all these big changes in your life?”
I try to sift through my thoughts and actually think about her question. Truth is, I don’t know how I feel about any of that. All I feel is anger and bitterness. I know Koby can’t stomach the sight of me because she feels guilty. Knight blames himself for me being taken. The thing is, everyone feels some type of way about what happened to me and I hate it! None of them were there, they think saying sorry and telling me they are there for me is going to erase what happened, it won’t! Yes, I was spoiled by Bishop growing up and am the baby of the family but now, I don’t even recognize the person I used to be.
“That’s because you are different now.” I cut my gaze to Opal and frown, she smiles encouragingly as she continues. “You spoke aloud just then.” I grit my teeth in frustration. “Look, Bishop came to me and asked if I had any suggestions that would help you with your healing journey. I suggested you having your own place might be a good start.” Now she has my full attention, if she manages to convince my big bro to let me move out, she is fucking better at her job than I thought. “He agreed.”
“What?” The word spews from my mouth before I can stop it. Opal startles but regains her composure quickly.
“Bishop has made the preparations needed but I will leave that for him to discuss with you. I need you to know, there are conditions for you moving out.” My nostrils flare in annoyance, I try to keep my breathing neutral as I grit out.
“What are they?” She smiles like she has won some fucking award.
“You must meet with me three times a week and converse in each session.” I shake my head. Her and Bishop think they can threaten me into doing as they like, well newsflash fuckers, I’m not a kid and can do whatever the fuck I like. To prove my point, I flip Opal off and storm out of the room making sure to slam the door behind me hard enough to rattle the pictures on the wall.
* * *
“Suck it!”I fight the gag that wants to break free and obey, I hate myself for being so weak but what choice do I have? I thought Bishop would have come for me by now, if not him then definitely King. I don’t know if Knight would come, I got his girl killed and I can’t blame him for hating me for that. “Just like that,dvornyaga(mutt).” If I could kill myself I would. I fucking hate Ivan Volkov and everything he stands for. If he isn’t forcing me to blow him, he’s fucking me. If it isn’t me getting fucked, then he is raping some poor helpless girl in the cell next to me. He forces me to watch, not the act itself but him. He likes it when I make eye contact with him, especially when he comes.
I bolt upright in bed, breathing so fast my head begins to spin. My body is covered in a sheen of sweat. My bedroom door flies open, and I act on instinct. I leap from the bed and huddle in the corner of the room, slamming my eyes closed when the light flicks on. I wrap my arms around my knees and bury my face in the top of them. My body begins to tremble with fear. I fucking hate this part! I know what’s coming and I am too fucking weak and powerless to stop the bastard from using me or hurting me. I want it all to fucking stop! Hands grip me, I keep my eyes closed not wanting to see his face as I thrash in his hold.
“Rook!” I know that voice. “It’s me, open your eyes.” I freeze when the hold on me turns from frantic to gentle. I slowly peel my eyes open and slam them closed as the bright light assaults me. “Open your eyes, brother. You’re safe.” I follow Bishop’s order and slowly blink my eyes open. It takes me a moment to adjust to the light, but when I do I see a panicked look on his face as he kneels in front of me. I look over his shoulder to see King standing in the doorway tugging at the strands of his hair, looking like he wants to break shit. “Shit.” I focus back on Bishop who looks stricken. “Let’s… get you cleaned up.” I’m confused as fuck for a minute. I follow his line of sight and that’s when embarrassment and shame courses through me, I fucking pissed myself in fear.
“Get the fuck away from me!” I snarl as I shove Bishop back and push to my feet. I ignore King as I storm past him and head for my bathroom, slamming the door closed and lock it. I grind my teeth in anger and start to punch the door. After the second hit, my knuckles split but the pain is a welcome distraction. When I hear my brother’s shouting for me to open up, I step back and shake my head but say nothing. I avoid looking at myself in mirror as I peel off my soiled boxers and chuck them in the hamper before stepping into the shower. I turn the temperature to scalding hot and stand under the spray, loving the feeling of it burning my skin. I grab my loofah and scrub my skin raw trying to cleanse myself of the filth that clings to me. It doesn’t matter how long or how hard I scrub, the feeling of being tainted and dirty is still there.
* * *
By the timeI step out of the shower my fingers are prunes and my eyes are heavy with exhaustion and unshed tears. I’m a fucking man. I shouldn’t be sitting in my room crying every fucking day! I see Anya living her best life even after she was raped by her own uncle. Ally smiles nonstop even after what she went through. Koby and Knight are so happy being parents and loving their twins. Bishop and Kiara are happily married and expecting their first kid soon. Even my sister is married and about to have a kid. Then there is me. The family fuck up. The disgrace. The burden.
I need to get the hell out of this house before I lose my mind. Huh, I probably already fucking have. I see things that aren’t even there—like I could be reading a book and then all of a sudden I’m back in Russia, chained to a wall and being whipped like a dog. I push away those dark thoughts and step out of the bathroom only to be greeted by the sight of Bishop sitting on the edge of my bed with his face buried in his hands. I throw my head back and fight the groan from breaking free, this is the last thing I want to deal with right now.
“I’m sorry.” I lull my head forward and give him a bored look. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here, Rook. It’s been nearly five months since we have been back from Russia and you still won’t speak to any of us. I don’t know how to fix this if you don’t––”
“You can’t fix this!” I roar. Bishop doesn’t flinch or even shift an inch just stares at me with nothing but guilt in his eyes. Don’t they get it, nothing they do will fix what happened. They can’t change it! “Get the fuck out ,Bishop. I don’t need your bullshit apologies or pity.” I watch as he stands silently and walks toward the door. Before he can leave, I say more. “Opal told me about the deal. Let me leave and I’ll stick to the arrangement. Use it against me and I’ll disappear, except this time, you will never see me again.” I watch as his whole body stiffens, his grip on the door handle is so tight he may actually break it.
“I’ll always be here, Rook,” he whispers.
“Just get me what I want.”
“Fine.” Now it’s my turn to stiffen as he turns around, this time there is no guilt in his gaze only determination. “I’ll get you the keys and a house within a couple months.” I grit my teeth and nod; I can persevere for another two months. “Before I hand the keys over, you have to meet your nephews. Don’t bother arguing with me, Rook. I have this whole fucking place locked down tighter than Carlina’s grip on Vincent’s balls, you won’t get out. Meet them and you’ll have your freedom.” He doesn’t wait for a reply as he slams the door closed behind himself.
