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27
Alastor
Ihave officially reached a new level of patheticness. And, yeah, I know that’s not actually a word. I hug a pillow to my chest as I sprawl across the couch, my eyes glued to the movie playing on the TV. And it’s not just any pillow; it’s Jack’s pillow. It smells like him. I’ve officially turned into that sap who gets all creepy over a pillow.
I hear my front door banging open and Xavier’s voice in the hallway, but I don’t bother getting up.
“Uhh...why are you watchingMuriel’s Wedding?”Xav asks upon entering the living room. “You hate this movie.”
“I thought it might make me feel better to watch a movie with someone even more pathetic than I am. It’s not working, though.”
I hear Xav’s footsteps move away towards the kitchen, and then the sound of him rummaging through the fridge. When he returns, he comes around the side of the couch and seats himself on the coffee table, his expression understandably concerned. He hands me one of the beers he’s retrieved from the fridge, and I take it, just for something to do.
“What the hell’s going on?”
I let out a heavy sigh, shaking my head. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”
“Is this about Jack?”
I groan. Even hearing his name hurts.
“Okay, so it is about Jack,” Xav says, more to himself.
Then he fixes his gaze back on me. “I thought you said it was just sex?”
“It was. But then it wasn’t...at least for me. For him it was always just sex.”
His brows draw together in confusion. “You’ve lost me.”
I sit up and slump back into the couch, taking a moment to pull my thoughts together. “When this whole thing started, it was just a physical thing. I never imagined it could possibly be more than that. I mean—how could it? I always thought he was so selfish and shallow. But he’s not. He’s sweet, and funny, and smart, and...passionate. And everyone underestimates him.” I give a sharp shake of my head. “I don’t know why. I don’t understand why people think he’s not good enough. When he sets his mind to something, he makes it happen.”
“You’re in love with him,” Xav surmises, eyes wide.
I scowl. “Like I said. Pathetic.”
He offers me a sympathetic smile. “Would it make you
feel better if I told you Jack Macey’s an easy person to fall for?”
I surge to my feet and start pacing in agitation. “No, that wouldnotmake me feel better. Just look at what happened to you.”
Xavier shrugs. “And I couldn’t be happier.”
I send him an annoyed look. “Sorry if I’m not up for having my heart ripped out on my way to a happily ever after .”
He offers a wry smile. “I’m not sure I’d be that dramatic about it. I won’t lie and say the way he ended things didn’t sting, but it certainly didn’t break my heart. But then, I guess my heart was never completely in it to begin with,” he allows with a shrug. “I mean, I had feelings for him, of course, but it wasn’t until I fell in love with Trent that I realised just how surface-level they were.”
I nod, starting to feel a little better. “Okay. So, these feelings I have...you’re saying they’re probably not real? I’ll be able to get over them as easily as you did?”
Xavier’s eyes widen and he starts sputtering and coughing on a sip of his beer. “What? No. That’s not what I meant.” He fixes me with a stern look. “Alastor, youdon’tget feelings for people. If you have them now, I’m guessing they’re very real. And the way you were just waxing lyrical about him—it’s obvious you’ve gotten to know the real Jack, and you love him. I’m not sure anyone else but Trent can see through all the layers to what’s really underneath.”
I can’t help it; the mention of Trent’s name makes me flinch. I know it’s ridiculous, he’s Jack’s best friend and has been for decades so of course he should know him inside out, but it riles up every possessive bone in my body to be reminded there’s someone else who knows Jack as well as I do—probably even better. The fact that it’s the guy Jack’s been in love with all these years isn’t helping matters at all.
“Then what the fuck was the point of that story you just told?” I demand, frustrated.
“I don’t know, I went off on a tangent.”
I glare at him. “Not. Helping.”
