Page 17 of Bonds We Break


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But I still look at him confused, because what the fuck else am I supposed to do?

“I mean it. What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I don’t know,” I say quietly.

We fall silent, taking in the disarray of the room, of me, and I know exactly why I’m here.

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” The weight of that statement lays heavily on me, like a pile of bricks. Cash and I hadn’t even had a chance to get a place together. We were on the road when we got married. We had plans to buy a house when the tour was over, but now… I let that thought hang in the air.

Tears prick my eyes at the thought of Cash, and when I look at Wade, he knows exactly what I’m about to ask him.

“Ah, Mia,” he says as if he thinks I don’t really want to know.

I try to blink back the tears but a few escape. “How is he?” I ask anyway, even though I see the warning in Wade’s eyes.

He lowers his gaze and shakes his head as he paces the small motel room, his toe connecting with a rogue soda can he missed cleaning up.

“Don’t do this to him,” Wade pleads.

“Do what to him?” I ask innocently, shoving the covers off me and placing my bare feet on the dirty carpet.

“Just leave the guy alone. He’s been through enough.” Wade shoves his hand through his thick dark hair.

I know Wade has spoken to him. Whether he likes it or not, Wade is the peacemaker in all of this. He can’t help it.

“I just want to know how he’s doing.”

Wade stops in front of me. “How are you doing, Mia?” He changes the subject and sweeps his hand through the air, gesturing to this piece of shit motel room littered with the remnants of how I’m doing.

I don’t answer him.

“If you wanna know how Cash is doing, look in the mirror kid, because no one came out of this without being burned, most of all him.”

I slump further into the mattress. “This is all my fault.”

Wade clamps his hands on either side of my shoulders and shakes me. “Why do you always take a hundred percent of the blame for him?”

His voice wakes me up inside, and I am forced to stare at him.

“It’s not all Jack’s fault,” I state as I stand, pushing his hands off me.

“You’re right; it’s the two of you. You wreak havoc whenever you’re together.” Wade turns away from me and kicks at a lone Chuck Taylor laying sideways on the floor, its mate hidden.

“You don’t give a shit who you hurt.”

“Of course I care! I never wanted to hurt Cash,” I say, offended by Wade’s accusation.

Wade turns around to face me. “The two of you didn’t just hurt him, Mia, you destroyed him.” The pain evident on his face, causes me to keep my mouth shut.

“He doesn’t just love you, Mia, he loves Jack, too. He loves this band, and it’s all been taken away from him.” Wade pinches his forehead. “It’s been taken away from me, too.”

The silence in the room is deafening. This information is not new to me, but somehow Wade’s words make it tangible like a knife aimed at my heart, slowly piercing through my skin.

I touch the thin gold chain around my neck, pulling at the links until the ring surfaces from under my shirt. I wrap my fingers around the small gold band wanting to feel the connection between Cash and me and hoping, deep down, he still does too.

“He hasn’t served me with divorce papers,” I state, feeling that little pebble of hope in my belly.

Wade gives me a warning look, but I don’t care.

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