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“I could stay with you,” Jack suggests, the thought making me laugh. Jack and my parents have never been in the same room together, and Chernoble would pale in comparison to that meltdown.
“I don’t think so.” I shake my head.
“Your parents still hate me, huh?”
“They are not a fan.” That’s an understatement. He was the boy who took me away from them. He was the boy who ruined my life. That is how they will always see him.
“Of my music, or just me?” he continues.
“Mmm, both,” I answer with a cringe. I doubt they have ever bought a Mogo album or one of Jack’s solo albums. They wouldn’t dare.
Jack mimics stabbing himself in the heart, and I laugh. Although I know he couldn’t care less if they like him or his music. But they are missing out. Jack is so talented and he can be very charming when he wants to be. He is at his best when he lets down his walls and you get to see the true person underneath.
There is such strength in being vulnerable.
“I really need this,” I whisper, trying to help him understand. “It’s taken a long time to get here.” I know why he’s being protective, and I can appreciate that. It’s hard for him to let me go, and once again, he will have to.
“They were angry with me for so long,” I sigh, “And life is short.” That’s more relevant at this moment than it ever has been before. Jack will never be able to say those things to his father that he wanted to. He will never get the closure he needs to be whole.
But I do.
“Yes, it is,” Jack says as he stares out the front windshield, unable to look at me. I know he is thinking of his father, and I wonder if he will be okay.
“You’ve had this shadow, this demon following you ever since I met you,” I say to him, thoughtfully. “I think it’s time to let that demon die with him.” If he could only let go of the hatred he’s carried all these years. Maybe now with Mick gone, he can finally be free.
“It’s funny, but nothing seems different now that he’s gone. It’s like life goes on and he never really existed,” Jack mutters, his eyes holding mine.
“Maybe it’s because it’s summer,” he sighs. “Everything looks and feels different in summer.”
“Could be why you like L.A. so much.” He adapted to L.A. like he was always meant to be there. For me, I always felt like I was missing something.
Jack laughs half-heartedly. “Could be why you hate it.”
“True,” I smirk, but I don’t hate L.A. I never felt a connection like I do here. It was never a place that felt like home, it was a person. “It never rains.” I look up at the sky through the windshield, hoping the scattered clouds will turn into a monsoon.
“It rains in L.A.,” Jack counters.
The wind has died down and everything is still. The trees are silent, and not even a car has driven past us since we pulled in front of my house.
“How is Hayley?” I change the subject.
“She’s a teenager,” he says, pursing his lips. “She hates me.”
“That can’t be true.” I think about Jack’s father. As awful as he was, I know deep down Jack loved him, if only for the fact that he was the only parent he had. As much as Jack fears he’s just like him, I know that’s not true. He may have had his struggles, but he loves Hayley. I could see it every time they were together. I will never have anyone look at me the way Hayley looked at Jack. It was as if he hung the moon.
“You know me,” he sighs. “I always find a way to screw things up.”
“Like I said,” my tone becomes serious. “You are an easy person to love, and a very hard person to hate.”
Jack leans back into the seat. “She’s really good at hating me then. A prodigy,” he laughs.
“Believe me, she loves you.”
“I hope you’re right.”
My heart beats fast in my chest. “Cash loves you, too.” I need him to know this. I need him to know what Cash has sacrificed for him, even if I can’t say it.
Jack chuckles loudly. “Now you’re reaching.”
