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“Dad!” Beth shrieks.
“Have you been drinking?” I ask, pinching my forehead with embarrassment.
“What?” he holds his hands up innocently. “I’m just saying, it’s not the end of the world.”
Laura begins to laugh, holding her hand over her mouth, and Ianna gives me a comforting smile as she chuckles.
“For the record,” she whispers. “I was always rooting for you,” she winks, and I furrow my brows wondering if she knew the whole time. Maybe she takes after her brother, being very observant, or maybe he confided in her. Either way, I’m glad Ianna’s not mad at me.
“Noelle?” Dad waves her over to us. “You’d like to go toMaggiano’s, wouldn’t you?” He puts an arm around her shoulders.
“Sure, Grandpa,” she agrees, looking between all of us, probably wondering what’s so amusing.
“Then it’s settled,” he says, satisfied, leading us out the door and towards the parking lot.
Trying to avoid an awkward dinner, I pull Beth to the side before we veer off to our cars.
“Look, Beth, I’m…”
“No,” she interrupts me. “Lake, I was awful to you,” she says, surprising me. “I was just shocked, and I didn’t handle it well.”
It’s true, she could have handled it better, but it’s not going to do any of us good to rehash that now. What’s done is done.
“I think we both could have handled it better,” I admit instead.
Beth toes the ground before she speaks. “How did we grow so far apart that I didn’t know what was happening with you?” she asks, bringing up Steven without saying it directly.
“I thought I could handle things on my own,” I shrug. “You know how cocky I am.” I try to make a joke, but Beth doesn’t let me pass it off as something inconsequential.
“You really went to bat for me during the divorce with Eric,” she reminds me.
“You would have threatened to cut off Steven’s dick and shove it up his ass too,” I say, shrugging.
“I can’t pull off scary the same way you do,” she laughs.
“Well, I mean, that is true.” I raise my eyebrows proudly.
Beth’s expression becomes serious as she looks at me. Whether I like it or not, she knows me well enough to know when I’m using a joke to deflect from the seriousness of the situation.
“Did you love him?” she asks, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “Adrian,” she clarifies.
Blowing out a breath, I’m not sure how to respond. There is a part of me that loves him deeply, and another part that doesn’t really know what love is. I feel like there are things I need to face about myself to be able to answer that honestly.
“That’s not an easy question to answer,” I answer honestly. Having spent years not trusting people, or myself, I closed myself off to the possibility. It was so easy for me to believe that everything Adrian said to me was a lie when I should have been holding those truths close to my heart. His words have come back to haunt me many times over these last couple of months.
You can tell yourself all the beautiful lies you want, but I think we both know the truth.
I won’t ask about him though, because I don’t deserve to know. Not after the way we left things. Right now, I need to focus on what’s in front of me and what’s inside of me, however long that takes.
“He’s a great guy, Lake. I hope you know that.”
Nodding, I know she’s telling me exactly what I’m missing.
“I really just want you to be happy,” she says, squeezing my arm.
“I promise I won’t make family get-togethers awkward.” I smile back at her.
Beth laughs. “That’s an issue for another night. Right now, I’m starving.”
