AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“They arenotweird,” she says, offended. “And that’s not what I was going to pick.”
She tips the remote towards the TV and queues up the movie. As soon as the opening song plays, I turn towards her equal parts confused and excited. She smiles sweetly, resting her head on my shoulder.
“I knowSixteen Candlesis your favorite,” she says before shoveling popcorn in her mouth, “and it’s fitting because today’s your birthday.” She tilts her head towards me so I can see her eyes and I lean down, planting a kiss on her forehead.
“Thanks, kid.”
Settling into the couch a little further, I pop a few kernels in my mouth. I think I have the best kid in the world.
We watch the movie in silence, aside from a few grunts and laughs from Noelle who finds the inappropriateness funny.
“This is so wrong on so many levels,” Noelle says.
“It was the eighties,” I say, shrugging.
“Why do you like this movie so much?” she asks, laughing.
“It’s romantic,” I reply.
“How is giving some nerdy kid your underwear, romantic?” she asks in disgust.
“Not that part,” I give her a little tap on the leg. “TheJakepart.”
“Jake is a jerk. He basically leaves his girlfriend with some oversexed high school kids and runs off to find Samantha,” Noelle says, clearly offended.
She has a bit of a point there that I can’t argue with. “Okay, true, but it’s because he realizes who he really wants.” I turn towards her and cross my legs. “He picks her up in his Porsche, takes her back to his house, and they sit on his table with a birthday cake that he got just for her,” I say, and Noelle narrows her eyes at me.
“Come on, now that’s romantic,” I plead, moving the bowl of devoured popcorn onto the coffee table and brushing some of the crumbs into my hand before heading into the kitchen to throw them in the trash.
“Since when are you romantic?” she asks, disbelievingly.
“Way deep down in here.” I tap at my heart and laugh.
Noelle follows me into the kitchen and leans against the counter. “Did you ever have that with Steven?” She never refers to him as her dad, because he never really was one.
Letting the top of the garbage can slam shut, I sigh. Noelle was five when Steven left, and she remembers very little about him. I’ve never sugarcoated my relationship with Steven to her, but I’ve also tried hard not to villainize him either, even though he is the villain of my story. But that’smystory, not hers. She just got caught up in our dysfunction.
“In the beginning maybe, but that’s a movie, not reality.” I shake my head and walk past her back into the living room to finish cleaning up. Remembering falling head over heels in love with Steven… it feels tainted now, and I can see that me being younger and less experienced was exactly why I appealed to him. The thought sits heavy in the pit of my stomach. Even though it’s been twelve years, what I recognize now as trauma is still very much my present, even if I try to deny it.
“Why can’t that be a reality?” Noelle asks.
“I don’t know. I guess guys like that don’t exist in real life,” I explain while grabbing the bowl and holding it out for her to take the last few kernels before throwing it in the sink. “Besides, have you ever thought about what happens after the birthday cake?” I ask. “That’s when everything goes to shit.” I realize how cynical I’m being a little too late, and I don’t want to put my pain onto her, but love is an illusion that most people will never be able to grasp. It’s the smoke and mirrors that fool you.
“Now there’s the cynical mother I know and love,” Noelle teases, lightening the mood.
Giving her a kiss on the forehead, I thank her.
“What if he did exist?” Noelle persists.
“What are you getting at, Elle?” I walk back into the kitchen, using the nickname I gave her when she was little. I dump the remaining popcorn in the trash and set the bowl in the sink.
“Why didn’t you ever get married?”
Leaning against the counter, I look at her lovingly. “Becauseyouare the love of my life.”
“I’m being serious,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.
“You wanna know the truth?” I ask, her expression becoming serious as she nods.
